Saturday, December 10, 2005Late Night Blog and The IMDB experiment worked! by Christopher FolinoComedian Richard Pryor died today of a heart attack at age 65. He was a legend and a funny mother fucker. Fucking nobody could curse like that fucking guy! Who the fuck is going to fucking fill in that empty fucking hole? Fucking serious? I also couldn't believe John Lennon has been dead for 25 years. That's about how long it's been since Sir Paul McCartney has written anything worth while. Imagine if John Lennon lived It's easy if you try No Britney Spears below us Above us only talented songwriters and sky Imagine all the people Listening to better music today... Last night, I was watching a good series on "Showtime" (Yes, I couldn't believe it either) called "Sleeper Cell," I was feeding one of the twin babies, and the part where the terrorist were about to release chemicals into a mall via the air vents, my infant son stared up our air vent in our living room and he opened his eyes and started to chuckle and fell back to sleep with a crooked smile on his face. I'm going to have to keep an eye on this kid, and he's the one who doesn't look like "Stewie" from Family Guy!" And speaking of that boy, he grew eyebrows this week! I'm so pissed, he doesn't look like Stewie as much! However, thank God for Photoshop! I will have my cruel "Stewie Folino" Christmas Cards! My four and half year old daughter is playing the "Symbolism" game with her mom and she asked me to test her today. So I asked "What symbolizes daddy’s movie "Gamers?" She responded "The Dice" and "no distribution deal!" Wise kid, then I asked her what "Symbolizes George W. Bush and she said "Nothing!" Really smart kid. By the way, I will never write the names of my children or wife in this blog, I read Kevin Smith's blog and his fans wrote some nasty shit about his wife and while making the movie Clerks 2, Kevin Smith took the time one night to respond to like 100 different people who posted on his web site. And it was ugly! By the way Clerks 2 is ranked 271 on the IMDB movie ranking system! Speaking of IMDB! Our experiment is working! Yes, check it out! All the begging this last week to the three of you who read this blog to please visit IMDB and look up "Gamers" is paying off! Look at these movie meter stats! We went from 9,205 on Dec 4th all the way down to 7,951 on Dec 11th Oh thank you Jesus! And this is the best part, not to brag but look how these numbers jumped for some of the cast and crew. Christopher Folino ranking of Importance on IMDB went from a ranking of 621,164 on December 4th to 88,619 on December 11th! Wow, that almost eases the rejection from the state of Utah! I wonder if I get down below 1,000 will that attract an agent? Executive Producer Fernando Velloso jumped in one week from a rating of 1,808,647 to a rating of 597,532! Via La Velloso! Watch out Fernando! If the people in Argentina learn about this ratings jump they may attempt to kidnap you! However, the most impressive jump belongs to my brother and Co-Director Michael Folino for going from a rating of 2,016,818 to a rating of 345,591 in seven days! Wow! Way to click on your name Mikie boy, over and over! Way to put your five boys to use on the internet! Beverly D'Angelo has gone from a ranking of 1,080 on December 4th to a ranking of 813 on December 11th. However, this is the season for Nation Lampoons Christmas Vacation so I have to question how much we helped with that? She did dip down to a ranking of 28 on November 28th the same time the movie "Gamers" got its best ranking ever on IMDB at 4,189. Dave Hanson, and Kelly LeBrock have had some slight upward movement! And Paul Pieper, Mr. Editor rose from 769,508 to 511,498 in just one week! Tom our audio guy did an impressive jump also! Sadly, no love for Actor, Musician, and all-around "best kisser" according to three out the four executive producers Mr. Kevin Sherwood! And regarding the "Football gambling for Festival entry fees" I placed my bet! $200.00 on the New England Patriots by -4 to win over the Bills Would win $174 dollars on that if the team loves "Gamers" and wins one for the "Submission fees!" And I placed $49.00 on the Colts at -6 1/2 to bet the JAGS. Would only win $28.00 on that game. So, best case we will have a total $449.00 to pay for all the festival fees! We would be close! So, watch some football and see if my life is really like Charlie Browns or not! Will they finally let me kick the "God Damn" football?" And lastly, Happy 28th birthday to Dave "Reese" Hanson on Sunday! I hope 2006 is the year you make it big and finally get a date also...with a woman. A woman that doesn't look like a man! Unless that's what you want buddy! And remember to go on IMDB and look up the movie some more! And a shout out to Chuck in Austin, Texas, The Sutton Family, Brandy from work who should be on IMDB!, The Hemenway family, Rob "For Fuck Sake" in San Fran, and Dave Hanson who reads this blog likes it the gospel! The Cohen Family? Maybe the Watson Family? And if I missed anybody else! Email me! posted @ 07:41 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 0 (+/-)] Friday, December 9, 2005FRIDAY BLOG by Christopher FolinoHello blog reader, Everyone has been asking me "How is the movie doing?" Well, the "movie" is doing well. He's recovering from being rejected by the entire state of Utah. For weeks all he would do is sit at home and watch the Sundance Channel and get drunk on Red Bull and Black Velvet and just bitch "I'm better than that fucking movie with Philip Seymor Hoffman about the guy sniffing gasoline fumes!" However, once he got on IMDB, oh man! He's gotten a huge "Ego", because of his ranking on IMDB! I tried telling him there's more to life than being ranked 9,205 on IMDB. Like, meeting a nice film festival and settling down and getting a massive distribution deal. He's a good "movie" he's just a little nervous, since he's a "festival virgin" and he knows he's a hard "R" rating kind of guy and wants to make sure he gets "hooked-up" with a "hot-looking festival." Not one with just a "good personality" So, we are getting him in shape, pumping him up with a few more scenes and some sound track adjustments! Okay, that was a little strange, back to normal blogging. Big weekend for "Gamers" the movie this weekend. Let's see if God is on our side when it comes to gambling to pay for film festival entries. As all two of you who read this blog know, I started off with an investment of $50.00 and bet it on Pro Football games for the last two weeks. Right now, we are up $150.00 and that means I'm going to bet all $200.00 on the PATS and the COLTS to win this weekend. "Come on baby, daddies just got to get enough money to pay for the entry fee into the Berlin Film Festival!" How many other blogs, reveal how they come up with their budgets to pay for film festivals? None! You won't find that happening over at Rosie's Blog! IMDB Update -Please don't forget to go to IMDB and look up "Gamers 2006" My theory is that the more hits you get the higher your ranking is. So, let's see if we can get "Gamers" from a movie ranking of 9,205 down to at lest 4,000? I'd love to be under 1000! I can't wait for the next IMDB ranking update, I'm so excited! I'm such a nerd! I'm the guy who would go to China and gather all the citizens and then have them all jump-up and down at the beach, just to see if that tidal wave thingy would happen. Last, but not least, remember to click on the link section and to visit the FRAPP MAP of Gamer! Sign-up and become fan number fifteen! All fans that sign-up this weekend will be added to the film credit list, so you'll get to see your name in the movie! Have a great day, I really, really mean it. Really. posted @ 10:43 AM PDT [link] Thursday, December 8, 2005The curse of my boss and Jon Voight by Chris FolinoHello and thank you for reading the blog. If you read the blog while your at work, then good for you! "Way to stick it too the man!" If you read the blog from home, alone in the dark and naked with just a bowl of jello in your lap, then "Hello! and when you’re done reading this blog! you can go stick it too the jello!" Okay, so how much does God hate me? Yes, that's the question of the day for you! For me it's a life long affirmation! I have a day job and it was really ironic and humorous to find out yesterday that one of the films we lost out to at Slamdance this year is called “LIEBESKIND" - written/directed by Jeanette Wagner about a five years a father and daughter reunite, only to find that their new-found relationship is less than perfect." I swear to God that's my bosses name and it translates to "Love Child" This isn't good for me at work. My boss will use it against me in every meeting now. "Hey Folino, tell everyone how you didn't get into the festival, because, of my last name!" It will become the “Pull my finger” bit! I would have rather been punched in the nuts by Gary Coleman and his agent. Do you know what Folino translates too in Italian? I'm not even joking, it's like "Son of Christopher" So, my name is basically Christopher son of Christopher. Funny, my dad's name is Robert. Yes, I can't wait to go to Italy and get mocked! Here’s an observations I made last night while watching TV. Jon Voight did an amazing job as Pope John Paul II in the mini-series last night. Serious, he even got the exact way the Pope use to drool down perfect! Is that a mean observation? I swear in the scene I watched, Jon was able to cry a single tear that came out of his left eye and then was able to drool at the exact same time! That's fucking acting! Try it! I can’t do it! I drool from my nose! Personally, I'm shocked Jon hasn't gone in the business of selling sperm. His daughter is Angelina Jolie! "Hello friend, my name is Jon Voight and my sperm is an awesome sperm!" Who can trump this man? Especially, when it comes to sperm? Nobody! Did you see what happens when Billy Joel mated with Christie Brinkley? Did the super model gene win out in that holy union? Ah, no it did not! Now Jon Voight! that mother fucker can name any price for sperm! I bet he makes more money selling sperm than acting! You know he was on the set of the Pope John Paul II Mini-series, and was about to do a scene, when his cell phone rang. He must have stopped production without any hassles! "Hey guys, let's hold-off on shooting the Pope mobile scene where I shake a lot and wave well, kind of shaky. I got an order in to make a “little Angelina” for Billy Joel and his new twenty-four year old wife! They don't want a girl with a just a “wonder personality” He’s got enough of those! No, Billy wants a “baby babe!” That's right, I'm Jon Voight and my sperm is an awesome sperm! I guarantee a “Baby babe” with each sample!" So what if your daughter will grow up with strange habits? Like wanting to make-out with her brother? That just means she'll stay really close to home. I'd love to get the rights to the “Wonder Twins” movie and then have Angelina Jolie and her brother play the parts of the Wonder Twins. I would just add really creepy sexual “twin tension” moments in the entire movie. Like having Angelina sleep in a “Water Bed” and that water of course is the form of her twin brother! Oh, if any one knows the “Wonder Twins” than they would appreciate that sickness! Otherwise, I come off very bad! My version of the “Wonder Twins” movie would play awesome at Sundance! Oh, he didn't go there? He's been so good, not making fun of Sundance and the fine selection of films this year! Yes every studio movie with a budget well over four million dollars and a distribution deal needs help! Okay, I got to go onto IMDB and click on Gamers 2006 and see if I can get our movie ranking hire! And of course, finish my bowl of jello! Oh that's not jello! It's a little bit of “Jon Voight holiday magic!” Yes, let the negative karma ratings begin! Bring it on all you red states! posted @ 10:43 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 4 (+/-)] Wednesday, December 7, 2005Get Well and then some by Chris FolinoI want to send our continued love and support to our producer Manuel Silva Who is battling throat cancer. Manuel is a sweet man and without his talents and endless dedication to the movie, we would never have gotten it done or have a product at the caliber it is. Get well my friend I still want to continue to make fun of your hideous dye job. Have you seen his photo in the interview section? Jesus! What makes a dark skin person think blonde is good color for his hair? Sad, not as sad as cancer...but very close! You know, it's a horrible thing having to have to a person battle a life threatening illness, and what makes it even sadder is that in order to have a chance to beat this disease, Manuel is paying for experimental drugs. I don't understand how as a nation, we spend billons of dollars on cancer research that doesn't work each year and yet we still make patients pay for experimental treatments! It's wrong! This world is a little "messed up" when outstanding people like Manuel Silva and a young girl like Breanna Pflaumer have to pay for experimental treatment to battle to stay alive because, the HMO's of this world suck at what they do. I also would like to wish Gordon Madison, a great man and the inspiration behind the "Gordon" character all the best with recovery from his surgery. Get well Gordon, the hard rockin Christian band Stryper can't afford to lose their one and only fan! And when you get back I'll buy you one of their cool Stryper New Testament bibles autographed! Wow, I never knew "God" autographed the bible...oh wait, that's right it's just the band members of Stryper who have the balls to sign copies of the bible. Wow, I know who my roommates in hell will be! And man does their music suck! Other thoughts today. Happy 25th birthday to the great Maya animator Dave Colacioppo! I'm a fan of your work and I look forward to starting the animated movie in 2006 with you! That's if we sell this movie or your meth lab takes off...in a good way. And lastly, in order to pay for all our entry fees into festivals, I'm strongly leaning towards The Patriots -3 over the Bills this weekend. I got $249.00 dollars to bet. I'm thinking of also picking the Colts -7 1/2 over the Jaguars! If I can double the money, then we can pay for the festival submissions. And when we sell the movie, we will of course help Manuel pay for his treatments or perhaps a better coloring job for his hair. I think we covered enough for one blog today! Hello to Rob in San Francisco! For "Fuck Sake" come on down and visit! My best to Mario Vanillo for being my vote for GQ man of the year. Remember to go to IMDB and look up Gamers (2006) And check out the Links and click on Frappr to add your name to the Gamers fan map! Later ya'll posted @ 09:45 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 4 (+/-)] Tuesday, December 6, 2005Tuesday morning observations by Chris FolinoI'm up, it's 3AM and my how the mind wanders away from the movie and how the blog turns into personal observations. First Observation, I may have been "Touched by an Angel" his year when it comes to betting on football games. This is my second time gambling and man, did I win big with "The Chicago" game and the "Seattle" game. And I don't want to brag, but I picked Carson Palmer's team to win last Sunday also. Why am I betting you ask? To help earn cash for the movie. So, starting off with $50.00 I have now earned Side Show another $150.00 That's right, we are so poor, that I'm betting on football games in order to pay entry fees to film festivals. Second observation, when feeding one of my twin boys he just smiles, giggles, and attempts to communicate with air vent in our ceiling. The wife says he's speaking to angels; it looks more like he's got a thing for air vents. I remember once in college, after what we will call an "EXPERIMENT" I ended up staring at the power socket in the wall and after a good hour I noticed how it had a face. I then attempted to have a conversation with it. It was very enlightening; we talked about Woody Allen Films and God. I remember him saying "God" said let there be light, and GE said "Well then, let them pay for it!" It was profound then at 3AM in the morning, we will still send each other Christmas Cards. My second son really looks like Stewie from "The Family Guy" All I want for Christmas is dress him up like Stewie and send out mean spirited Christmas Cards to family and friends. My daughter is almost five and there is a boy at school who runs around with his lips out and tries to kiss her. It's some cute game, he's came up with. However, He's sixteen; I think I should say something. I'm joking about the age. He's more like seventeen. It's bad enough; her favorite show is "Zoey 101!" Oh, I swear I do my best to get her to only watch movies like "The Exorcist!" So, I was going to turn my attention to world news and talk about "Tookie". Serious, you got to kill him, for the pure fact that his nickname is "Tookie". Nobody, should be in a gang and named "Tookie." Oh no Chris! Aren't you concern that the Crips might get mad at your blog! Well, first off? I didn't know that gang members could read! Congrats! Second, I'm from El Monte, where our gang members had nicknames like "Chewie", "Tweetie" and "Taz". These were educated gangsters who loved the art of cinema and classic Looney Tunes! Well, enough with the observations, check out this email I got today! It’s from Salt Lake City, Utah! It's like taking salt and pouring it on my wounded chest. And that always makes for a great blog right? So here's the email I got this morning. Greetings, "I look very forward to seeing this film and owning it. Is there a place that I can see where you will be playing the movie? I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I have many friends that would be joining me." -Gary Hey Drokare, Thanks for the email! Hey, if you want to invite us up to Utah, we are open for a road trip! Otherwise, we tried to get into both Park City film festivals and we didn't make it! We wish all the other filmmakers the very best and we will try again in the future with our second film which we hope to start shooting in six months. We are hopeful to get into another major film festival with "Gamers" and we do plan on getting a distribution deal! And if that happens with theatrical release, we will come down to Salt Lake City and I'll buy you a ticket and we can watch it together! Thanks, Chris Folino I got to run, I have a day job. posted @ 11:11 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 2 (+/-)] Monday, December 5, 2005"Gamers" The Musical-Coming to Broadway in 2006 by Christopher FolinoThis just in, we are working towards bringing "Gamers" to Broadway next year. We have some amazing musical numbers in the movie that will translate to theater with amazing results. The Tony award show will honor Kevin Sherwood's writing abilities for his songs "Wake Up Dick" and "Reese you suck!" in 2007. And who wouldn't love to see a singing Jesus? And then mix in a splash of eighties music and you know what you get? Broadway gold. Who wants to pay to see "Rent" and get all depressed? Serious! What the world wants now is a story of total global appeal and that's "Gamers" Everyone knows somebody who has rolled some twenty-side dice and slayed a few orc babies! We have gotten calls from various Broadway producers and it will be a race to see what happens first, a major distribution deal for the movie? Or a Broadway musical offer? It's a fantastic position to be in! As you know if this movie has "Cats" the musical references sprinkled through-out the entire film! And this blog, ladies and gentleman is what happens when you got nothing to write about! posted @ 12:27 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 3 (+/-)] Sunday, December 4, 2005IMDB LOVE by Christopher FolinoI’m finally on IMDB, wow, I feel all “Grown Up!” Yeah, that’s right from my humble start at Public Access at KELM in El Monte, CA to being posted on IMDB for making a 35MM featured film. We also joined the IMDB pro and we got to see that the movie is currently ranked at 9,205. I looked up some other indie films and some were as low As 35,000. Of course, I think you want your movie in the top 500 at least. For some reason on November 20th we were ranked 4,189 Hey, for fun, everyone who reads this blog, go log onto IMDB and look-up Our movie, let’s see if we can get the ranking lower! I believe the more hits they get about the movie the better the ranking, among Other things! Here’s how the ranking has gone so far “GAMERS” IMDB MOVIE RANKING 2005 Dec 4 9,205 2005 Nov 27 9,343 2005 Nov 20 4,189 2005 Nov 13 9,658 2005 Nov 6 30,347 2005 Oct 30 48,811 By the way, two new songs by Kevin Sherwood that we used in the movie are posted up in the “Store” section of our web site. These are MP3 files and they will play on your IPOD. Bummer though, he’s selling them for 99 cents each and PayPal takes 30 cents per transaction and another 2.9 percent. I don’t think he’s going to make enough money for that pimped out “Big Wheel” he’s been dreaming of. Last night, I spoke with both Kelly LeBrock and Beverly D’Angelo and gave them an update on the film. Both are doing great and are looking forward to the film festivals. If it wasn't for the fact that I had twins and that they were born at the start of our shoot date, I don't think either ladies would answer my call. However, it's nice to call them on a Saturday night and not be considered a stalker. posted @ 10:03 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 4 (+/-)] |
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