Saturday, November 19, 2005Come meet William Katt and Michael Bell today at Gen Con 3PMIf you live in Los Angeles, CA come on out today to the Anaheim convention center for Gen Con. Anaheim Convention Center 800 West Katella Avenue Anaheim, California 92802 We got a free booth, we are showing some clips, and best of all meet and hang-out with two industry legends William Katt and Michael Bell. And the talented comedian Dave Hanson will be there. Monster drink will be at our both giving away free drinks and condoms. Yes, get you're total energy fix on! And we will have other great stuff to give away. And we may do a pre-festival screening for 30 people of the film. So go sign up ASAP! See you out there! Special thanks to Kevin, Scott, Dave, Meredith, Manuel, Mr. Colacioppo, Renando, for coming out. I owe each of you a liver or kidney. posted @ 07:53 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 0 (+/-)] Friday, November 18, 2005FRIDAY BLOG -By Chris FolinoHow the hell is it possible that Dave Hanson and Kevin Sherwood don't have an agent? What kind of town is this? To be honest the actor's agents I've dealt with have been mostly fake monkey ass bitches! I have met some nice agents for actors like John Heard's agent and Michael Bell's guy is nice. However, Jay Mohr's agent should be working at McDonalds learning a little thing called "fucking humility." And hello to Jarad Paul's agent! Maybe after this film hits big, you'll return a fucking phone call on time. Of course, if the film doesn't do anything both Jay's agents and Jarad's agents will look really smart. However, that won't happen. you can't stop destiny or the fact that neither one of those agents are "smart people". So, Dave Hanson who plays Reese in our movie works as a doorman at the Improv. That's a fucking crime against humanity. It ranks right up there with the fact the TV show "It's a Small Wonder" or the movie "Mac and Me" ever got made. By the way this Saturday at 10PM, Dave Hanson will be performing stand-up at the Improv. Go see him, he's a "fucking" funny guy and if you're an agent and you sign him up I will personally place you in the opening credits of our movie. Right, before "Directed by" You'll get your name in the credits! Offer expires this Saturday at 12AM. And what about signing up Kevin Sherwood? Jesus Christ! Isn't the "Wake up Dick" and the "Wizard's robe" scene reason enough to sign him? What does he have to do? Just because Kevin Sherwood isn't listed on IMDB! Well, really who is? I don't know who's more responsive? SAG for Indie filmmakers? IMDB? Or my dead mother? I'm going with my dead mother; I have a better chance of her returning a call or an email before SAG or IMDB. I do have hope for SAG now that Michael Bell is involved! However, making an ultra-low indie film with SAG in less than 7 days is fucked up. You have to pay 100 percent the actor's fees up-front, that they place in a bond that you can't touch or use to pay off the actors. It's like a large security deposit of over $20K. Now, who the fuck has that kind of money when you're making an ultra-low indie film? It's lame! And what's worse is if you get a SAG rep like we had! She was rude, she never returned phone calls, and she even let our producer sit in the fucking SAG lobby for 8 hours after she lied to us about getting our money back. We had to sick Michael Bell on her and that's how we got our deposit back. And it's a crime that Kevin Kirkpatrick, Scott Allen Rinker, Meredith Zealy, Joe Nieves, Ben Messmer and Niko Posey don't have lead parts in a TV series or more featured film. Wow, do I sound like a little "bitch" today or what? NEW NEWS We shot some new scenes for the movie and I want share some highlights. I found out Dave "Hollywood" Hanson the actor has a breaking point when it comes to comedy. "Hollywood" Hanson, refused to do a scene the way I, the director envisioned it. Hanson felt the comedy was too crude and wouldn't fit in with the rest of the film. I pointed out the "Horse Juice Scene" as an example of type of humor it was. However, it was like talking to our SAG rep, Hanson was non-responsive. What actor wouldn't want to pretend to suck the breast of his first cousin who happens to be a cross dresser? And when he gets off the nipple, he has milk around his mouth and says, "Your lactating, that's so hot! No, I couldn't get "Hollywood" Hanson to do that. However, Ben Messmer was totally game to do a scene much worse! This scene is fucked up! There's an old man in front of Ben, suddenly, an elderly woman approaches the old man and see's the marking of the serial numbers the German's gave him at a concentration camp. The woman recognizes the markings and they both realize they are childhood friends who haven't seen each other in forty years. A touching scene, that goes horrible, as the security camera picks up Ben's character "freaking out" because, it appears to him that woman has cut in front of him at the DMV line! I wanted to be sensitive with the actors and make sure they were all on board with the scene. Everybody understood, that Ben's character is such an idiot that he would freak out, even if two holocaust survivors found each other after forty years. So, Ben and I are outside the room and I ask him "Are you Jewish? Are you okay with the scene? Do you think it's too offensive?" Ben smiles slowly and states "I'm German!" and then rolls his head back and let's out a demented laugh that lasts a little too long. It's nice to know, I'll have a roommate in hell. Folino done, took the day off of work to go down to Gen Con in Anaheim! Go look us up at the convention; it's going to be kick ass day! posted @ 10:21 AM PDT [link] Wednesday, November 16, 2005Wednesday's Blog Revised by Chris FolinoFirst Off the man who we based the character Gordon wrote me. If you ever get to meet Gordon Madison, he's a funny man. So funny in fact, that helped us with lots of lines in the movie, and the Why is Italy shaped like a boot" joke is all his. Here's his email he sent to me last night, that I just got. And by the way Gordo! Stryper still sucks! Subject: You fucking bastard! Hey Christina Linguino I cant believe you bagged on the leaders of the God Squad, Stryper! What fucking blasphemy! The Sweet bros and Oz Fox crank. I'd rather get a shiny new yellow and black bible thrown at me than feces, pig blood, or vomit like the other bands do. How could you? Just for that i may have to post those pictures of you on the internet. I also may have to make copies of my Stryper poster (circa Soldiers Under Command era) and post them all over your office. Think about it for a second. You love Night Ranger. Jef Watson and the guys aren't to far from Stryper. Stryper is heavier but not too far away. I'm going under the knife soon and i have to deal with the stress of someone bagging on my band Stryper. To borrow from the Grim reaper hit "See you in hell!", I'll see you in hell my friend! You are quickly losing credibilty with the masses. You fuck Gordo And now today's blog In honor of not stealing any thunder or press from the soon-to-be classic "Yours Mine & Ours" movie coming out this Friday, November 23rd I wanted to give the movie some love. I think "Gamers" can handle not being mass promoted today! The pig scene where it messes up the wedding, oh man that made me laughs so hard! Brilliant! Mel Brooks is an ass stick compared to you guys! Oh man, I wish I would of thought of having a pig in our movie! I’m a fuck stick! That’s what “Sundance” would want to see! And then to see Dennis Quaid branch out and take a chance on a movie like this and not do it for a "paycheck" is very noble. And best of all to watch Nick cross promote Hawk Nelson song "Bring em out" with Drake Bell singing back up every ten minutes on the Nickelodeon channel is inspiring. Hawk, great name! You get my vote for "best new average white guy trying to be cool and thinking his music is cool also!" I won't talk shit about Drake Bell, I like Josh and Drake. And that kid can sing. So my only question is? Didn't the world suffer enough with the Steve Martin film "Cheaper by the Dozen?" and God knows more suffering is on the way that sequel being "Green lighted!" How did "Yours Mind and Ours" get on the fast track to get made? I would love to have been at that pitch meeting. "Okay, now think "Brady Bunch" meets "Cheaper by the Dozen?” Great concept huh? Bigger is better and we got a pig in it! And we are going to make Dennis Quaid look like an ass! Oh man, can’t they do a sequel to the “Right Stuff?” Okay, fuck this, back to Gamers! Gen Con this Friday and Saturday in Anaheim Our movie doesn’t have a pig in it. So I guess were fucked in finding a distribution deal! But, we are adding a scene that takes place at the Renaissance Fair” and Dave Hanson who plays “Reese” will be wearing armor that has “Nipple Rings” Now, that my friend is comedy. I wonder if Hawk would do a song for us! posted @ 12:11 PM PDT [link] Tuesday, November 15, 2005Monday/Tuesday "The Super Blog" -By Chris FolinoHere's are some random thoughts and updates for today's "Super Blog" Scott Allen Rinker on "Charmed" I tuned in at 9PM, not 8PM. To change the channel on a Sunday night at 9PM is a sin to me. "Family Guy" is on at that time, and that is the best show on TV...fucking ever. Well, I still turned on the WB to see Scott play a demon. My hands were shaking, and the hair on my arms stood up. Yes, I was about to commit a sin. It had been eight years of what I call WB sobriety for me. Yes, eight years of never watching the "WB" network during prime time. That's eight years of clean living or "Charmed" free living for me. I've been able to dodge that show like 7th Heaven, Gilmore Girls, and Reba! If I had more time, and more teen angst I'd watch "Smallville". I can't see to watch the show out of loyalty to Christopher Reeve. That's the only Superman or Clark Kent that I will recognize in this life time. I wish they would digitally replace Margot Kidder with someone hotter, than that movie would be perfect! "Can you read my mind?" "Yes!" Please stop talking during this part and fucking up the movie!" Well, Charmed is on at 8PM I guess, so I watched "Family Guy" instead. Frickin Awesome! I hope to borrow the tape from Scott's mom and maybe do some creative editing with it! You know like take his lines and cut another movie in with it. Perhaps make Scott "Fredo" from the Godfather II movies. Or perhaps have Scott be "Frodo" in Lord of The Rings! I can do it; I'm an editor by trade. NEW MARKETING PLOY -One more reason to buy our movie Great news for all you PINK FLOYD'S "DARK SIDE OF THE MOON" and Stryper's "To Hell with the Devil". Fans! We’ve spent months writing and editing to make sure our movie "Gamers" can be muted and you can play either album and the movie will synch up in action and dialog! One crucial aspect of the Gamers/DSM/THWTD experience is timing. It is important to begin the CD at the end of the Clown-on-Clown porn scene. After that sit back and enjoy either some really good rock or a band that actually tossed copies of the bible to fans at their concerts. "Hey thanks! Play some metal with some really watered down lyrics, while I read the book of Job." That's what you want while performing at a music concert, for audience members to start reading the bible. I am working on matching up the movie to a Wiggles' album to help parents with kids be able to enjoy our movie and practice "good parenting skills" at the same time. I've seen the Wiggles twice in concert! I'm a good parent. I have to say the first time I saw them I got second row seats for my daughter. I was so proud to be so fast online for ticket master! Yeah, bitch! I was a hero! And on the day of the show, I knew all the lyrics. Nothing like having to watch the same movie ten times a day, for ten months straight! I was such a dork, that I was upset that Greg the leader singer of the Wiggles wasn't there. His mother-in-law had died and he was taking care of his wife. Whatever, thanks for destroying my "Wiggles Buzz" So; they had a scab singer named Sam, who was rather good! I enjoyed the concert way more than my daughter. It was so bad that while my wife took my daughter to the bathroom. I was singing along, and I look over at this other dad who was staring at me, with the same sort of hatred you would see in fan at a Stryper concert when he learns the band ran out of bibles! It was at that moment, while I was singing and clapping to "Toot, Toot! Chugga, Chugga in the Big Red Car," That I knew I had to stop. I was a man. Right? And this wasn't my music. I had once been a proud Springsteen fan. What the fuck happened to me? Well, listening and watching the Wiggles ten times a day for ten months brain washes you...okay, I'm a big wuss boy. Needles to say, we are Wiggle free at the moment, my daughter has moved on to "Zoey 101" I'm so lucky! I plan on having my twin boys only watch original episodes of "Speed Racer", "Baywatch", and The original "Exorcist" movie. I want them well rounded. My daughter watches nothing but Nick and she's like almost five and wants a boyfriend, a mall, and a pony. Her dream is to ride the pony to the mall and kiss her boyfriend and then shop. TV sucks for little girls, it really does. And To hell if I'm getting her a pony to ride to the mall to kiss her boyfriend! And I am a horrible father, my daughter watches "Gamers" with me all the time, I just mute out the curse words and change the channel when the "Clown Loving" starts! And I just smile when Kevin's "white wizard" scene comes on and I make sure to tell her "that's his Gandalf robe sweetie! Now go get daddy a beer!" FILM FESTIVALS Two more weeks of waiting to see if we got into our first film festival. Perhaps, I can fill that time synching up a Stryper album played backwards and watch the "WB" prime time! Yes, that would be a gift from God! Folino moving on for now. posted @ 09:15 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 3 (+/-)] Sunday, November 13, 2005"Blog Wars Episode IV: A New Hope" by Scott (not Jar Jar) RinkerA Short Time Ago, in a suburb far, far away… from pretty much anything recognizable as civilization, a small man had a vision. (well, small in mind, if not in stature) His name was Christopher Folino. His vision was to create a film that would rock the entertainment world to its core. He wrote a script based on his life as a gaming dork. In it he put all the pain and misery and mistreatment he’d suffered at the hands of non-believers since childhood. He twisted that pain into something glorious, something magical, in short, something TRANSCENDENT. He begged and pleaded with his friends from work to help him accomplish this goal. He hired actors to bring his words to life, and this they did BRILLIANTLY, despite being paid in food stamps and Chicklets. He found a crew to make the technical elements flow smoothly, a director of photography to shoot it MAGNIFICENTLY, and used his own home as the prime location. For six days in July & August these disparate elements converged to create a thing the likes of which the film world had never seen… That film is “Gamers.” Unfortunately, the power of creation can be a double-edged sword and in the case of Chris Folino, the dark edge of the blade bit him. Hard. Right in the ass. He became corrupt. Egomaniacal. Insufferable. His constant desire for adoration and genuflection was too much for his cast to handle and so he turned on them one by one. His weapon? His DEADLY BLOG. With it he swiftly and surely eviscerated everyone who had lent their soul to his film. Emasculating some, crushing those who were already emasculated to begin with. It began to appear that no one could stop him. He could go on to… well rule his own private hell, really, but he’d rule it unchallenged. Unchallenged, that is, until one actor stood up and said, “Enough! This stops now! I will not be replaced by the worst CG created character in fucking film history! I will not have my fellows reduced to sucking up to his GREATNESS, our director. I will stop him.” Then Chris called and said one of his kids was sick and asked would I mind filling in on the blog today and possibly tomorrow. I said, sure. So, now I feel a little shitty for having written this. Just a little. Lots of love to ya Chris, and all our best wishes for your son. posted @ 09:35 PM PDT [link] |
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