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Gamers gets Conned by Comic Con by Christopher Folino So the quest for film festival acceptance continues to go badly. We sent a copy of the film to “Comic Con” late and got the staffs approval to do so. However, they never watched the movie and a month later told us “It came late, and we won’t allow anything late into the festival.” I did my best to explain that they told us to send the movie and they will review it even though it was late. However, I think I should of dressed up like “Matches Malone” in Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #183 to infiltrate the film festivals. And then when they let us in, I would of revealed myself to them as Batman and I would be treated as a God, and those geeks would offer make me a fountain of Mountain Dew and get me all the boot leg copies of the outtakes from Catwoman that my little heart would desire! However, that didn't happen, so congrats “Comic Con Film Festival staff” your on my list this year of “Are you fucking kidding me” You guys are tied with that a-hole who wants to cast Paris Hilton as Mother Teresa. Serious, I have a feeling the only festivals that will take “Gamers” are going to be outside the country in Israel and Australia. I will be converting to both Judaism and Aussieism in the next few weeks. So, “GDay and A Klog is mir, we hope America film festivals gets some “Kishka’s and show the movie!” So Bracha on you all and try not get a gutful of piss this weekend when eating at the Maccas! I could Kvetch all day but I got to Shmeichel some pom pornmy studios folks! posted @ 10:52 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [No Comments ] Thursday, April 20, 2006Meet me tonight in Atlantic City by Christopher FolinoWhen I started this blog, I promised I’d be as honest as possible about the ups and downs of getting a movie made. Christ, it’s a hell of a thing making a movie and then trying to sell it without getting screwed. Monday, we get word that The CineVegas Film Festival is passing on “Gamers” due to the fact they hate mockumentaries. Fair enough, they show 35 films and the main guy was kind enough to be one of the only film festivals to share feedback. That makes him a decent human being among a bread of dickweed festival fucks. It was a long shot to get into this festival, they really don’t premiere new movies and they kind of show off “The best of the best from film festivals” there. Next, we got an email from an executive producer who is close to releasing a major film this year with some major stars and he’s honestly interested in reading our next project. That was cool and it made life easier while the rejections came pouring in like a bunch of sailors at a bar after being out in sea for like a long time or something! See, that’s witty writing, it’s got “Hollywood” lining up! Spoke with MTV Films, which was pathetic. Get this they want an email with a synopsis sent first before they watch a screener copy. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that? The kind of bullshit you go through when you a make movie that doesn’t get into a major festival. Erik Childress got the movie onto Rotten Tomatoes and he’s been so damn supportive of the film and his article is opening doors for us. However, the film is doing a fine job of closing the door once it’s in! Another distribution company, which is probably the most reputable of the smaller ones, emailed me and they made an offer. However, they have low expectations for the movie and the offer is really low. How low? Lower than Gary Coleman’s career and height combined. However, we will talk it out a bit more this week. Then an indie film icon was kind enough to call me back and share his feedback of the film. He really felt it would make a great short film like 10 minutes short. Fair enough, I asked for the feedback! Following right after, we got rejected by ThinkFilms however, the guy who watched the movie really enjoyed it and gave us two numbers to call for agents. “Hi Chris, Good talking with you yesterday. As discussed, here are a few sales agents, who I think would be excellent at getting your film in front of the right people and making a distribution deal. I thought your film was really funny and well made. I think you’ll do well with it. You just need the right agent to help you team with someone who will get it to its audience. Best of luck” And then today, we get news that Newmarket passes. Yes, my nuts are still In tack, thank you very much. “Chris, As a longtime gamer myself, I enjoyed the hell out of GAMERS. There's a fine line that must be walked when you're making jokes about material that's this esoteric, and I think GAMERS walks it well. Unfortunately, just as I was back in my 8th grade cafeteria, I am in the downcast minority here at Newmarket. The rest of the team didn't take to the picture as I did. It's my sad duty to pass on the film. But thank you so much for letting me screen GAMERS, and please keep us in mind when you are out with your next project.” We called one of the agents that “Think Films” recommended and he was luke warm, until after he hung –up and did a google search and came across Erik’s glowing review and then we got the okay to drop the film over to him. Got to love “Google!” It’s like talking to a chick first over the phone and then confirming with a friend to see if she’s hot, and once you get the nod, you call her back for drinks or distribution. So what’s the thinking? What’s the gut feeling? Regarding film festivals I don’t hold out much hope that “Gamers” will find love at a major film festival. It’s a fucking shame, because, with the rejections we got from distributors, I think these people could see how the audience reacts in a theater and I feel like they would of bought it. However, nothing has been easy about “Gamers” expect making it. The main goal is to get our investment back and to make another movie. We feel the movie has a large audience and that it will be do well on DVD. And unless we get somebody talking better numbers, we will do self-distribution. I called early Direct TV and got prices for doing a TV spot on some of the male driven channels, like Spike TV and Comedy Central. Direct TV reaches 15 million people and serious for the price of what some of the distribution companies wanted to pay to get a trailer made, I’d rather spend that money ourselves on self distribution on Direct TV. There is a lot to think about and more calls to make. For some reason I’ve been playing the hell out of Bruce Springsteen’s song “Atlantic City” The words that ring loud right now are. "Down here it's just winners and losers and don't get caught on the wrong side of that line Well I'm tired of comin' out on the losin' end So honey last night I met this guy and I'm gonna do a little favor for him Well I guess everything dies baby that's a fact But maybe everything that dies someday comes back Put your hair up nice and set up pretty and meet me tonight in Atlantic City Meet me tonight in Atlantic City Meet me tonight in Atlantic City" I think Bruce is telling me to take the movie to Atlantic City and double down on black Jack to win enough to do another film. posted @ 06:41 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 4 (+/-)] [2 Comments ] Tuesday, April 18, 2006A Review/Guest Rant by Chuck the GrogtardYou've seen me in the forums, now see me in the blog. A Review/Guest Rant by Chuck The Grogtard So how did I get this chance to do this guest blog entry/review? The first step was to post a bunch links to the website. Then I bugged Chris for about 5 months. A couple emails at first. Then a few phone calls at 3 AM. Finally, he shipped me a copy of the movie if I promised to write a review before Harry Knowles could and adhere to the restraining order. First, I'd like to address some comments made in other places around the Net that Gamers portrays the much-too-often-used negative stereotype of gamers. I'm a gamer. I've been a gamer longer than probably some of the cast has been alive. And the first thing I realized about the Four Horsemen + Reese, I knew each and everyone of them personally. Not only that , I /was /each of them at least once in my life (Well, maybe not Reese). The thing about stereotypes is that there's always someone out there more than willing to fulfill them for the entertainment of others. Now on to our Feature Presentation. I'm not going to go into the basic plot and all that. Because if you're reading this you already should know. If not browse around the site, I'll still be here. This is my kind of humor. Witty, irreverent and over top. Take one part “Spinal Tap” (and its brethren), one part “Arrested Development”, a dash of “Family Guy” and season to taste with “Robot Chicken”. The movie is loaded with great jokes and quotable one liners from beginning to end. (“Every time you curse, God kills a pagan baby.” and of course Johnny's tirade on the Orc babies.) There aren't just in jokes for gamers, there's plenty of mainstream humor to keep even the non-geeks laughing. But if you don't get those gamer jokes just ask a gamer. You probably already know one, you just don't know it yet. Just look for the pale skin, over caffeinated beverages and “toy soldiers” brandishing swords. That's probably a gamer. The cast was great. You could tell that these folks had real chemistry on the set. I'm sure when the movie is released on DVD there's going to be one hell of a blooper reel. There were some big name stars in the movie but my Award For Best Actor In An Unreleased Film By Chris Folino has got to go to Kevin Sherwood. His mannerisms, comedic timing and musical skills rivaling those of Weird Al stole every scene. You were great, way to go Kevin. One reviewer has already called Chris Folino the next Kevin Smith. And he can't be closer to the truth. Chris has even described himself as dark haired and Rubenesque. How perfect is that? All he needs is a Jason Mewes. Since I'm a skinny blond guy. Chis offered me the position (without that nasty heroin addiction thing). All I have to do is sell my house and give him the profits. In exchange, he'll graciously let me live in his garage. I can have all the food I can eat out of the dumpster. He'll let me bathe once a week if I provide my own soap and water. And I think “Dress Like A Clown” Fridays is the California equivalent to casual Friday. So to all you big time film distributors out there, do you want to be known as the guy who said “No” to the next Kevin Smith. I didn't think so. And if that doesn't work. The Chipper knows where you live. posted @ 08:32 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 2 (+/-)] [No Comments ] Monday, April 17, 2006What does a reporter who was at the first screening for the cast party think of the new cut?So what does a reviewer who came to the original screening of the movie think of the latest cut? Well, here's the answer! Everybody's Workin' For The Weekend Posted by Shannon Drake on April 17, 2006 at 11:58 am "A few members of the Escapist staff, including yours truly, sat down to enjoy my screener's copy of Gamers: The Movie this weekend. I'd caught the first screening of it, but watching it in a crowd of people you've played tabletop with is an entirely different experience. The laughter is entirely different--both because a scene is funny and because the conversation being satirized has actually taken place in the group--with a bunch of people you know. Especially the "Oh my god, dude, that's you" effect, which lead to a few awkward silences as some of the shots hit a little *too* close to home. Gamers is the "Best in Show" or "A Mighty Wind" for the tabletop roleplaying class, and what hit me on the second viewing was how much I'd missed the first go-round. It's one of those flicks where you're so busy laughing at one joke that you miss the next two. The "conversation that has actually taken place" was the "orc babies" conversation from the teaser trailer (some NWS humor/images, if your boss objects to copious swearing or you object to crude humor), which was almost a transcript of a conversation that took place among the resident group. The funniest part wasn't so much that, it was when the "YOU KILLED THE ORC BABIES!" debate broke out again right after the movie was over." posted @ 10:07 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 3 (+/-)] [No Comments ] Sunday, April 16, 2006Signs of the apocalypse by Christopher FolinoHere now, are three signs that the apocalypse is amoung us. Bruce Springsteen covering the song “Erie Canal” The man, my personal hero, the dude who wrote “Badlands”, the one song I want playing as they bury me six feet under, is now covering a fucking kid’s song that I was taught in grade school? A song so God awful that I sing it still today to my childhood friends for the sole reason to cause their ears to bleed. “I’ve got a mule, her name is Sal, fifteen years on the Erie Canal!” Seriously, this alone is the sign that the world will end very soon and not just “from Albany to Buffalo.” Paris Hilton being considered to play Mother Teresa Bollywood director T. Rajeevnath said he was impressed when he read a report sometime ago in which the hotel heiress said she refused to pose nude in Playboy magazine and decided then to shortlist her. Do I even need to bother with a punch line? I’d like our Government to take back the permission we gave India to further develop nuclear arms, due to this one fucking guy. And to add injury to insult, this Bollywood dickweed has a budget of 12 million dollars to make this film. Episcopal churches turn to U2 to pack pews Using the bands music during church ceremony and passing out fliers to get more membership by promoting the fact the church uses U2 music, membership is increasing in large numbers. Look, I’m a huge fan of U2, however, I don’t want to go to mass and hear the music mixed in between the sermon and communion. Because, sadly you hear a song at a location and it marks you for life. Every time I hear a Bob Seger song it has no worth. Because, I think of it being used in car commercials and I think Bob fucking sold out. Most pastors, priests and clergy are horrible speakers and their sermons way heavy on guilt. Why doesn’t the churches spend more time looking at their religion and seeing what they can do to create better leaders and to also bring the teachings to today’s reality? Leave Bono’s music alone! Let “Pride” play on an IPod or a radio, while two teenagers are making out in a parked car. I spent one-year solid listen to the "Joshua Tree" record every night before bed when I was a teenager and I would write stories, horrible poetry, and I was even able to trigger some creative ideas by listening to that incredible album. Now, the church is going to fuck it up and U2 music will be thought of along the same lines as a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish, you only order that “shit sandwich” on Fridays during lent. Okay, switching to some “Gamers” news. Two maybe three months that’s what we are giving ourselves to see if we can get a fair distribution offer or if we can get the film into a major festival. If not self-distribution, we are going to start getting the movie ready for it. I’d rather we control the movies fate. I’m hoping for at least another review next week and we should hear back from three distributors and maybe a film festival also. So that’s the news for this blog on Easter Sunday. One of the most sacred events in religion when Jesus Christ rose from the dead and turned the apostle Peter into a Bunny Rabbit! Sadly, Peter strayed from the teachings of Christ, and became a “corporate whore” selling chocolate bunnies and candies to children with the intent to create cavities, because, Saint Peter now works for the religion of Dentistry. I got to go now, I have to leave a freshly skinned rabbit barely breathing, hanging off my daughter’s playground set for her to find in the morning. The five year-old girl had to made a crack about “Gamers” not getting distribution, however, “Shazam” is golden! Everyone loves a comedian! Well daddy’s got a sense of humor also honey! I think this years Easter Egg Hunt will be a memorable one for you! Happy Easter and remember American Idol sucks harder than Paris Hilton! And you can take that any way you want, because, it works. posted @ 12:02 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 2 (+/-)] [No Comments ] |
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