Saturday, March 18, 2006Dorf does Gamers? By Christopher FolinoThree days until the world premiere and there is no mad scramble for last minute things or editing up until a few minutes before the cast and crew party screening. It’s a different kind of premiere and the only question I’m being asked is “Are you going to get distribution?” That’s like asking a 21 year old male visiting Las Vegas for the first time “Are you going to get drunk?” We have every intention in getting the film drunk off its ass and shacked up with a distributor. God, we just hope he wakes up his wallet, cell phone and pride. I’d hate for “Gamers” to wake up married to some distributor that’s home to classic movies like “Dorf joins the Marines.” Opps, wait, that’s a real possibility. So, we are still waiting on the press, we know we got one good review in and it’s huge. I’ll be writing shorter and more frequent blogs up until the premiere, I’m working on the sequel to the movie right now, it's called “Dorf vs Gamers” I think the world would enjoy seeing Dave Hanson tango with Dorf. I know I'd pay $50 bucks to see Hason stuff jerky down Dorf's mouth and then whack him to death with a baseball bat. I think Dorf has become more hated the Roadrunner. posted @ 03:04 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 1 (+/-)] Thursday, March 16, 2006Back on the blog with some brotherly love -by Christopher FolinoBefore I break into where I’ve been and what’s going on with “Gamers”, I got to wish my brother Steven Folino a happy 40th birthday! In honor of Steven’s birthday I’ll share some of the highlight that I’ve had with him in my lifetime. *Before going to a party when I was eleven he advised me to place my arms around the girls ass the entire dance. I danced all night long with a lot of different girls and was the main one picked for spin-the-bottle that night. He is Hitch. *The best memories growing up were watching him and my oldest brother Michael try to crack my mom up while my dad was in the other room getting pissed off because he couldn’t hear his precious “Three’s Company” TV show *Has always been the funniest person at my birthday party including one year when my mother took me to a Murder Mystery Dinner and he had the whole crowd laughing more than the MC * Edited my first short video in 1987 called “Candid Terror” for me and has been in every movie I’ve made including “Gamers” in 2006. That’s nineteen years of doing anything or being in anything I’ve asked. *Gave me my first car when I graduated from high school and painted it himself. A Mercury Cougar XR7 a metallic blue. *Did the sound track for my movie “The Art of Crime” in 1992 and also played Gummy the Clown, an assassin. Fucking stole the entire movie. *Made the best joke at the most inappropriate time in 1997 as they were taking my mother’s dead body away from the house, one of the workers lost his grip and almost dropped her. Without missing a beat Steven joked “Be careful, you might hurt her.” Happy 40th Birthday Steven, I hope you laugh your ass off at the premiere then I’ll know we’ll get distribution. Gamers news, all I can say is that’s it’s going to be one hell of a show. You want to be there, it’s going to that good. Press is coming in and it’s pretty God Damn Great. Dave Hanson, Kevin Sherwood, Joe Nieves, Kevin Kirkpatrick, and Scott Allen Rinker this will be the last time anyone will be able to book these guys for a normal day rate. posted @ 05:53 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 3 (+/-)] Wednesday, March 15, 2006Press Week“Gamers” has shipped to the press and we should start to get some feedback about the film by Thursday from various reviewers around the United States. The screening for the movie is March 21st in Beverly Hills CA at the Fine Arts Theatre at 7:30PM. We are almost out of tickets for the screening, so reserve your seats ASAP. posted @ 10:08 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 1 (+/-)] Tuesday, March 14, 2006The Ghost and Mr. Folino...March 14th, 2006 In a quiet town not unlike your own (if you live in a quiet town) a silent cry has gone out into the night (which begs the question: who will hear it... let's move on). Where is the erstwhile director and torch-bearer of the soon to be infamous film Gamers: The Movie? Our "avid" readers may have noticed his mysterious absence from these pages over the last few days. Speculation has run rampant. Here are the top theories being investigated: Was he abducted by aliens looking for a "good time"? Are the strange lights over the silent soccer fields of Argentina a sign that Chris needs our help? Has anyone contacted NASA? Will each sentence in this paragraph end with a question mark????? Has Mr. Folino fallen afoul of foreign interests that threatened to make Sushi out of him if he didn't give up the secret formula for the horse juice (as seen in the upcoming movie Gamers: The Movie. For a preview of this scene and others go to: http://www.gamers-themovie.com/download.htm)? An eye-witness on the scene reported seeing Mr. Folino being forced into the back of a French Bread van (with blacked out windows no less) by a group of apron-wearing little people. They are said to have pummeled him with numerous blows in order to spirit him away. Perhaps he will be found in the belly of the recently reported Great White Shark seen circling the local beachfront waters (possibly looking for parking). Everyone knows how much Chris liked to walk along the sand by the moonlight and let the salty spray refresh and reinvigorate his tired soul. Alas, he may never again get to frolic in the shallow waters with his frisky dolphin playmates. A hearty EEEEEIIIIIIiiiiii, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiii, click, click, click to you, his dolphin companions, if you are reading this. Mr. Folino took ill after scouting locations for his next picture, a period drama to rival Mel Gibson's upcoming all-Mayan film. Few details have come to light, but it appears that while in Argentina, he may have been infected by a swarm of rabid guerilla squirrels inflamed by the fires of revolution. These squirrels don't secret away nuts, they bust caps! In their breasts beats the drum of freedom, they will no longer be oppressed! Was Chris Folino forced to be a mule for their cause? What did he bring back to the good ol' U.S. of A. that made him sick? Do we want to know? Have we a right to know? Which of us could truly understand what Chris has been through? Now let's attempt to separate fact from fiction with our senior field reporter, Melissa Rivas. She was quoted as saying "He is reported missing and possibly deleeeeeeeeeeeeerious. I strongly suspect that genetically engineered super-smart monkeys have forced him to sit in a dark room and edit their monkey propaganda recruiting films, much like the puppet for ape liberation, Michael Moore. If that be true, then I hope his death be quick." That's my story (for now) and I'm sticking to it (at this moment). Goodnight world and get well Mr. Folino, wherever you are. May your weary head find peace on a pillow of comfort, not a comforter of shame. Paul Rivas, Fictitious News Correspondent posted @ 08:59 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 1 (+/-)] |
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