Saturday, February 11, 2006Blog Blog Blog Blog by Christopher FolinoSince we started the web site in late October, I’ll kind of daydream write about an event that I’m sure is going to happen and then I kind of wait for that event and finish the blog. However, sometimes things don’t happen and your stuck with what I call the “It never happened blog” Here now our a few of those entries. January 13h, 2005 –Highlights from Palm Springs It’s really great to be here at the Palm Springs Film Festival, there are so many hot elderly festival groupies! If you like them with no teeth and a coupon for half off at Denny’s this is the festival for you! Sadly, I must report that during the screening of “Gamers” twelve audience members died of heart attacks! I feel so bad that they’re poor hearts couldn’t take the movie. We have been asked to leave the festival and take our “Grim Reaper” film. However, the good news is that we’ve been offered mass distribution by Rose Hills Funeral Homes, who wants to get this bad boy out to everyone over the age of 80! Sweet! January 26th –Hell from Park City, Utah, I wish I had better news, things were going so well until last night at the bar when Robert Redford walked in drunk and started calling out William Katt. It was a showdown between the “Sundance Kid’s” However, Redford, forget that he was also messing with the “Greatest American Hero”. It was a two hit fight, Katt hit Redford, and Redford’s Iconoclasts ass hit the floor. Needless to say we were asked to leave the festival. Well, thanks for dealing with my blog therapy there. I thought it would be cool to see who got paid more money for direction D.W. Griffith or me. In 1908 D.W. was paid $35 to direct the Stage Rustler and the dude didn’t even have to worry about sound! Needless to say D.W. got paid more than me and in his death his IMDB rating is 5,257. And if I had $110K that he was given as a budget to make “The Birth of a Nation” I’d go make a sequel to “Gamers” Gamers news, we are weeks away from having the lights turn down, a crowded movie theater, and boom “Gamers” is up on the screen for eighty-seven minutes. People can walkout, throw their extra large Milk Duds at the me, I don’t care, because, we will have put a big fork into the movie, because it’s done. And all the sacrifice, the hard work, the highs and lows, comes to an end. There will be no “gosh what did you think?” or “it’s still a rough” Forget that, it’s here’s “Gamers” enjoy it. It’s not the same film that was seen at the cast party or at Gen Con in So Cal. Holes have been filled, scenes have been added, and re-arranged, edited and comedy, sick comedy will rule the screen. posted @ 02:11 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 8 (+/-)] Wednesday, February 8, 2006Animated Blog by Christopher FolinoWarren Buffett gets animated for kid’s series –Billionaire Warren Buffett is set to star in a DVD series a cartoon version of himself. The series “The Secret Millionaire’s Club” will be made by DIC Entertainment. The guys a Billonaire? Why is the show called “the Secret Millionaire’s club?” Cartoon Protesters try to storm U.S. base –Pakistani Muslims protest the cartoons that showed Mohammed wearing a turban shaped as a bomb. Around the country riots and killings have taken place due to the cartoon. As a catholic, I don’t there is any cartoon of the Pope or even Jesus that would leave me to Kill or even protest. Maybe I’d go out and protest for one hour on a Sunday, kneel and stand, and sing the echo version of the “our Father” However, I’d count that as the same as going to church! I remember when Sinead O’Connor ripped the photo of the Pope in half on Saturday Night Live, I protested by changing the station over to “Baywatch Nights” It was painful, however, I watched an entire episode and I know Jesus loves me for that sacrifice. Hopefully, the Muslims will someday look back upon this dark piece of history and say “You know what! We went a little crazy over that cartoon! But, at least we didn’t come up with that fucked up “Children’s Crusade” idea. Now, that was almost as stupid as that Warren Buffett cartoon! In “Gamers” news, the movie is on-track to have a distribution screening in March or maybe even the end of February. I will know more this weekend, when we go down to the film lab. posted @ 07:08 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 4 (+/-)] Tuesday, February 7, 2006RANK by Christopher FolinoThanks to Scott Allen Rinker for his guest blog on Monday! Scott is ranked number one on my books! However, the folks at IMDB rank him much differently at 44,019 on the STARMeter. How good or bad is that ranking? I’ll take two people, one who is an amazing talent deserving of a high rating and the other who is a total hack. Let’s compare! Pauly Shore ranked 463 and Christopher Folino is 102, 236. To be fair Pauly Shore won the Audience Choice Award for best Feature Film at Slamdunk Film Festival in 2003. So, what’s it like to get into the IMDB under 50K club Mr. Rinker? Do you get your movies into film festivals and are you showered with double coupons from the Pink Dot? Yes, it’s that time again where we review how “Gamers” and it’s cast are doing according to the world of IMDB. “Gamers” got kicked in the nuts again for a fourth straight week, causing it to rise to 6,351 on the MOVIEmeter! Yet, the movie 2001: A Space Travesty made in 2000 with Leslie Nielsen is ranked 2,513 on the MOVIEmeter. It even had a budget of 26 million dollars, which leads to me ask, why? I don’t think I’ve ever seen this movie even on cable! And “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” from 1987 is holding strong at 4525 according to IMDB, the all-knowing lords of cinema and cinematic taste! So “Gamers” is now sandwiched between the classic Jaclyn Smith TV movie from 1998 “Before he Wakes” and the 2001 cult classic featuring Orlando Jones and Eddie Griffin “Double Take” Still, the Gods of IMDB still felt we were better ranked than the 84 million smash hit “Pokemon: The First Movie” coming in at 6351 and “The Muse” with Albert Brooks which was ranked at 6364! That’s right Pikachu and Brooks! You’re our bitches this week! So what if combined you have both earned over 500 million dollars at the Box Office! However, the closest “Gamers” has gotten to a box office is a rejection letter by the Home Box Office film festival! Doesn’t matter! We still own you both on IMDB this week! I’d fucking quit showbiz if I were you Al or Pikachu! So how is “Gamers” the movie doing? Just fine, he kind of ballooned up with all the rejections from the film festivals. However, we have him on an Elliptical to shed those unwanted frames and we are trimming him down with to showcase him very soon. posted @ 06:30 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 3 (+/-)] Monday, February 6, 2006More Spontaneous Blogging by Scott RinkerI just rented, "Serenity", one of the coolest, freshest sci-fi movies to be produced in the last 20 years. What a great freakin movie! However, I’m left with one nagging question. What the hell is wrong with the audiences in America! Crappy retread comedies like Big Momma’s House 2 make 45 million at the boxoffice and Serenity barely makes 20 mil? I keep hoping for the American people to prove me right. That they’ll someday show these Hollywood hotshits that if you produce smart, original movies – the audiences will come. And that people are tired of the same crappy, cookie cutter formualaic films with “stars,” and I use that term loosely, who keep walking through the same feakin roles time and time again. But no, turns out I’m wrong and Hollwood is right, the audiences of today are EXACTLY as stupid as the boneheads think they are. Doesn’t matter what the studios produce, if they put a pretty ad campaign on it and sell it with some damn cheeseburger tie-in, everyone will go. Now I know what you’re thinking, if I felt so strongly about “Serenity” why didn’t I go see it in the theatre? One reason pally, I can’t stand being in a room with tons of morons who apparently can’t be separated from their mobile devices (phones, palm pilots, psp’s, what have you) and can’t stop FUCKING talking to each other over the film! I’d rather wait for the DVD, watch it on my plasma screen tv, and actually HEAR the fucking movie for a change! Plus I get to watch all the special features AFTERWORD, without having the behind the scenes stuff on HBO giving away the whole plot before I’ve seen the film. Mind you, I do miss seeing films on the big screen. I used to love nothing more as a kid than going to a theatre, getting a box of popcorn as big as my whole freakin body, nibbling on some Twizzlers and chugging a Coke while watching the TWO previews for upcoming films. And when the lights when down and the opening credits started to roll, the hush of the audience was incredible. Why? ‘Cause people were actually there to WATCH the movie! And everyone respected the desires of their fellow human beings to watch the film without chitchat as well. Do I sound like an old timer? Ready for the nursing home? Perhaps I am. In fact, I’m gonna go right now to my living room, sip my glass of Metamucil, pull up my Depends diaper, put my dentures in a glass of cleaner, and rewatch “Serenity” right now. And if you’re interested, here’s my top five Sci-fi flicks to check out… 1. STAR WARS, and also THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK - (try to forget that Lucas ruined everything that these films stood for when he decided to direct the prequels. I know technically it’s two movies but they’re really part of one story, so sue me.) 2. BLADE RUNNER – (I’m pretty much alone on this one in that I actually LIKE the original theatrical version better. It’s a detective noir, so you gotta HAVE the voice-over narration) 3. SERENITY – (I know it just came out, but it’s that damn good!) 4. STARGATE – (who thought mixing Egyptian mythology, science fiction and James Spader would be this good? Plus it launched a great tv series) 5. GALAXY QUEST – (I know it’s a comedy spoof, but it’s still better than the StarTrek series it’s spoofing. Of course, I hear they’re planning to ruin it by making a sequel. Does nobody learn from George Lucas’ mistakes?) Man, when I sober up I’m gonna really regret writing this blog, aren’t I? posted @ 09:40 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 0 (+/-)] |
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