Saturday, January 14, 2006Kevin Kirkpatrick lead in "Gamers" on Spike TV tonight at 12AM -"Fresh Baked Video Games"Tonight at Midnight on Spike TV our very own Kevin Kirkpatrick will be on a new comedy sketch show called "Fresh Baked Video Games" Tonights Episode See religious Icons fight it out in Holy War, plus a gamer takes a shot to the nuts and steroids in gaming is exposed. Somebody other than me gets hit in the nuts? I'm there! So go watch this show or Tivo it! Kevin Kirkpatrick is a funny man! One last note of thanks to the NFL New England Patriots. I hate the Denver Broncos and I'm sorry you guys lost tonight. However, thank you for helping "GAMERS" win over 700 dollars by us gambling on you! We will thank you in the credits of our movie! posted @ 08:37 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 0 (+/-)] Weekend Blog by Christopher Folino Welcome to the "Gamers" website and blog! The indie movie that proves if your "dumb enough", "credit worthy enough", and "enjoy pain", you too can make your own full featured length movie with real actors! And you can do it without selling your home or a child down in Mexico! First off, thanks to Dave Hanson for writing yesterday’s blog! For all you hot ladies reading the blog, you may want to snatch Hanson now! He's an incredible actor/comedian who will make more money than "Carrot Top" and "Halliburton" combined by the year 2007! How is "Gamers" the movie doing? It's pissed off! It's tired of spending all his money on courting and dating film festivals that promise to sleep with him and then go and bang an art house studio movie instead! Wow, I'm not angry at all over the fact that these festivals are set-up for studio films with distribution and they have used the word "Indie" to reward folks like Heath Ledger and Ang Lee for "Brokeback Mountain." I'm sure it's a great a movie, and some day I will see it drunk, with a very sedated Dave Hanson, like at 4AM in a "Motel Six" somewhere in West Hollywood, that has the vibrating bed. However, my point is that "Brokeback Mountain" is not an indie film. The budget for the movie was 14 million dollars and I would guess the advertising budget is over 7 million and climbing. So, what we really have is a studio film without explosives! And a bunch of fucking wanna be filmmakers who majored in film theory class and can't get a real fucking job so they hold a festival. Am I missing anything? Oh, yeah, Wanna be filmmakers such as myself who with no money buy into these festivals because, we have bought several books from hack filmmakers who tell you this is the way to do it! Knowing "God Damn" it's a fucking waste of time and it's more about who you know than if you a great film. So what's my point? It would be nice to have a festival that's for indie filmmakers! I don't want to go to a festival and celebrate the works of George Clooney! Sure he did two good films this year, however, how "indie" was he when he cashed out to make "Batman & Robin" or "The Peacemaker" There's a good deal of folks who are tired of movies like "Big Mamma's House Two!" and another horror flick from Lions Gate but with a different city every three months. So how does the ultra-low-indie film make Mel Gibson "Passion of the Christ" money so they can continue to work? I don't know? Look at what is happening in the music business and video games! Bands are signing-up to have exclusive songs in "Madden 2006" so they have can reach new audiences and reach awareness. I believe the next phase for video games will be something like a movie hooking-up with X-BOX Live to make the film available only there for six months or to go to "Google Video" and showcase sell the movie there. These are questions we will look at for "Gamers" and all our future movies. Okay, so click here for part two of today's blog only at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0485909/ It will make you laugh! posted @ 11:47 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 1 (+/-)] Friday, January 13, 2006Dave Hanson Strikes Back!Well I am back ladies and gents. That is right, Dave Hanson aka Reese has returned to the blog. So there are a few things I want to take issue with before I get into story telling mode. First off Chris has taken a day off to spend with the family and asked me to write a blog. So that’s why I am writing. Second issue is with the Dead Gentlemen. Now Chris is too polite and professional to deal with you guys in the public forum. I, however, am not. I could give a rat’s ass about being polite to you. I saw you guys at GenCon. And frankly, just like your "movie", you don't look like much. So I'm happy to take my pop shots out here in the wide open internet. Gentlemen, lets agree that you boys started attacking us first. For no reason other than that you realized that we have an actual feature film, shot on 35mm, with actors about a subject matter similar to your project. And by actors I mean people who make their living acting. People who have studied the craft of acting. Trained at institutes to develop their talent into a skill. Not "buddies" with whom you play make believe with. How dare you come onto our website and complain and bitch on our forum. How dare you make nice with out producers and director through email, offering friendship and joint publicity and then insult us on your website with your petty review of our Film. What's the matter, boys? Feeling a little insecure that an actual movie has shown up on your turf? Feeling bad that another film maker played D&D? Grow up. How about you guys spend a little time focusing on your film making rather than on the better film makers working in your genre? Until then, there's nothing neither gentle nor manly about you. You’re just a bunch of dead boys. So like a good boy, Shut the hell up and watch the grown-ups go to work. Thirdly, to the actor who put his name on IMDB as playing the same role as me, who got replaced before we began shooting: What the hell are you thinking? Seriously dude, be man about it. You’re not in this movie. Let’s not hold onto pathetic "Should have beens", "Could have beens" and "Wish they weres". You got cut. YOUR NOT IN THIS FILM. Did you think no one would notice or were you trying to do a silent protest? Like a clandestine internet nerd terrorist, screwing up credits on IMDB.com. You know what that says? Pathetic. Why don't you sack up and move on, ok? I know you. I see you often. You’re a nothing but a little Cock-ring. Let's see if you can look me in the eyes next time we cross paths. And now, for you loyal and bored readers I will get to the story part of this blog. This part of the blog is entitled "The Most Awesome Night At The Improv". At the end of November, a slow night at the Improv. The late show. A pretty good line up consisting of such talent as Greg Fitzsimmons, Gary Gullman, Gene Pompa and Jimmy Shubert. A slow evening at the Improv. A few comics and friends at the bar, drinking on this November Thursday night. A few more smoking outside. In the show room are maybe twenty-five people. Some couples, a few Australian kids from the Hollywood Hostile here to watch an American comedy show. Two middle age men, one large and one small, watch the show. One with a comb over and a mullet sips a whiskey and the other, short with glasses, drinks a beer. Greg Fitzsimmons (this year's host of the AVN awards in Las Vegas) finishes his set. The host, Carroll Seven, shakes his hand and begins to bring up the next comic: Gary Gullman. Garry Gullman, you may have seen, on "Last Comic Standing II". A Boston native, he stands at 6'6". Good looking with an easy nature about him, Gary played middle linebacker for Boston College. For those of you not athletically inclined (Dead Gentlemen, Paul Reese) the middle linebacker is usually someone who likes to hit people. He is right in the middle of it. You have to be built to play middle linebacker, especially for a football team like the one at Boston College. It's a fact that your reminded of every time you shake hands with Gary Gullman. You see, Gary from his demeanor and his jokes is a very laid back kind of guy. Nice. Polite and well spoken. Not rough or angry. Nor is he rude or spiteful. His jokes are about benign subjects such as cookies, fruit and his nose. He talks to the audience as a whole as opposed to talking at specific members of the audience. He is what one would call a good guy. But not this night. As Gary took the stage he decided to banter off of what the last comic and the host joked about, the man with comb over mullet (on his third whiskey at this point). Gary, who’s hair, is “shaggy” and shoulder length commented on the man’s bad choice in hair style. The man shot back a comment on Gary’s hair. Soon both were shooting off insults. Comb-over’s not nearly as sharp or cutting as Gary’s. But what can one expect from someone who is not a comic? The show has been disrupted. And soon the show room manager, Mac, moves in and tells the two gentlemen that they have disrupted the show and must leave. But as they are being ushered out of the show room, insults are still being shouted from them to Gary and from Gary to them. “You’re a real piece of shit!” the Mullet Comb-over yells. Gary has had enough. He drops the mic and all 6’6” of him steps off the stage. “Take your best shot.” Gary says, arms open wide, inviting. A glass, half filled with whiskey, sails through the air and strikes Gary in the head. Chaos. Gary, with a quite a reach, starts swinging. He connects on his first punch with the little guy in the head. The little man goes down into the curtain (which was pulled close for half the show room due to the small audience). With his buddy flailing in the curtain, Mullet steps towards Gary, through Mac who was still trying to control the situation. In the distance Gary’s girlfriend screamed. I came into the show room just as Gary put the little guy down on the ground (again) and planted a solid left hook into the face of Mullet, who fell into me. Mac grabbed Gary by the waist and I moved in to usher these guys out of the club. To aid me cam Gene Pompa, A New York guy. Using a loud voice he tried to confuse these gentlemen with an authoritive voice, using phrases like, “Let’s go guys. Your out of here!” and “We’re calling the cops! You don’t want any more trouble.” The other side of Gene is that he likes to fight, like most comics. So, it being dark and the two guys confusing, Gene took it upon himself to sucker punch Mullet in the dark. The guy was so turned around he had no idea that a whole new person was punching him in the face. By the time we got them out into the bar area they were shaking our hands apologizing to us for disturbing the show, even though their faces were swelling at the same time. Fat lips and bruises were beginning to appear on their faces and they were shaking hands with one of the guys who hit them. They left in a hurry, realizing the embarrassment of losing a fight and having a comb-over mullet. Carol Seven got on stage and said, “How much money would we pay right now to have Ashton Kutcher come out and tell us we’ve all been punk’d?” At the end of the show, one of the Australian students was over heard saying, “Best show I’ve ever seen, mate! Now hows about ‘nother Fosters!” posted by @ 08:21 PM PDT [more..] [Karma: 2 (+/-)] Thursday, January 12, 2006Kicked in the nuts for a sixth time by Christoher FolinoLast night we got word from the Santa Barbara Film Festival that“ Gamers” had made it in the final elimination round out of 2,800 films. However, it got rejected at the very last possible moment! Kicked in the nuts again by some art house folks! It’s a damn shame these festivals aren’t run by people who like “Family Guy”, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and “Spinal Tap” or straight males between the ages of seventeen and forty. Wow, there’s an age demographic nobody is trying to reach! Here’s a story for you that you can file under “pathetic.” I had a dream this morning where I saw the Santa Barbara film festival list and it had the names of exactly 50 movies on it. “Gamers” was the very last movie on that list! Serious, number 50! I woke up all happy and smiling and believing in the Santa “Festival” Clause and the “Indie” Tooth Fairy! Perhaps, if I kept dreaming a little longer, I would of seen the red pen scratching out “Gamers” and replacing it with…oh, I don’t know! “Rosie O’Donnell’s cruise ship documentary. Three festivals left to go. SXSW, HBO Comedy Aspen film festival and Seattle. So far we have been “kicked in the nuts!” by six film festivals. However, The focus is to finish the new scenes and get a distributor’s screening going in February and to send the movie out for reviews. Other than that lovely fucking news, we have some new online advertising taglines. This movie was made for every guy whose rolled a 20 sided dice or killed an orc or two. www.gamers-themovie.com Yo Roger Ebert review this movie & if you hate it we’ll never make another movie again www.gamers-themovie.com Dear 20th Century Fox, sorry about “Grandma’s Boy” Buy or movie it doesn’t suck www.gamers-themovie.com Okay, for trivia and strangeness click onto here for part 2 of today's blog found only on IMDB. http://imdb.com/title/tt0485909/ However, to end part 1, I wanted to post the lyrics to "Badlands" by Bruce Springsteen. Why? Why not? Badlands by Bruce Springsteen Lights out tonight trouble in the heartland Got a head-on collision smashin' in my guts, man I'm caught in a cross fire that I don't understand But there's one thing I know for sure girl I don't give a damn For the same old played out scenes I don't give a damn For just the in betweens Honey, I want the heart, I want the soul I want control right now talk about a dream Try to make it real you wake up in the night With a fear so real Spend your life waiting for a moment that just don't come Well, don't waste your time waiting CHORUS Badlands, you gotta live it everyday Let the broken hearts stand As the price you've gotta pay We'll keep pushin' till it's understood and these badlands start treating us good Workin' in the fields till you get your back burned Workin' 'neath the wheel till you get your facts learned Baby I got my facts learned real good right now You better get it straight darling Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king And a king ain't satisfied till he rules everything I wanna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got Well I believe in the love that you gave me I believe in the love that you gave me I believe in the faith that could save me I believe in the hope and I pray that some day It may raise me above these CHORUS mmmmmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmmm For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive I wanna find one face that ain't looking through me I wanna find one place, I wanna spit in the face of these badlands CHORUS posted @ 06:22 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 6 (+/-)] Wednesday, January 11, 2006"I blog myself every day' by Christopher FolinoYesterday was a day of distributors calling. We had two calls regarding the film and an email. Our game plan is to stay the course and get into a film festival, so we can get a "little respect" and "hype" and then invite every distributor to the screenings and then whoever comes in the coolest car and is the best dressed, we’ll marry! Looks aren’t important to us at all, we plan on using them and once we get what we want, we'll move on, and then were going to whore ourselves to anyone who pays our bills and buys us a pony! However, it has to be a pony who can mix one hell of a drink! Wow, what am I talking about? I have a healthy outlook towards distributors; they are exactly like car salesmen but with a strap-on! However, that’s why we have a "super lawyer" who can’t wait to protect us! We know her hearts is totally into this project! Mainly, because, she needs some new kitchen cabinets. Every time I speak to a distributor about film festivals, I feel like Han Solo in “Star Wars” right after they broke into the trash compactor room. Cut to Cell Phone Blinking, Folino answers. Folino: Uh, everything’s under control with “Gamers”. Situation normal. Distributor: What happened? “Gamers” didn’t get into Park City Festivals? Folino: Uh, Park City had a slight taste malfunction. But uh…everything’s perfectly all right now. Were fine, were all fine now, thank you. How are you? Distributor: Send us a screener copy. Folino: Uh, uh, negative. We had a creative leak here now. Give us a week to shoot some more sick scenes. Large creative leak, very dangerous. Distributor: Who is this? Are you really a director? Folino: Uh… Shoots cell phone Folino: (mutters) Boring conversation anyway. Sherwood, more “I love Dick!” songs, we’re gonna sale this movie! So, that’s pretty much how my phone conversations go with distributors. From my perspective, we are doing just fine with the movie and having Kelly LeBrock making her comeback and the incredible Beverly D’Angelo back on “Entourage” in 2006, isn’t hurting us at all! And speaking of hurt, John Heard, (Wow, that sage way “sucked”) he’s going to be on the new “Battlestar Galactica” and William Katt’s got some great stuff coming up. And I have all the faith in the world that the chosen four, plus one and Ben are going to kick ass this year! So,if we can wait until February or March before we begin our “courtship” then we’ll be just fine. Remember, and I swear today go to http://imdb.com/title/tt0485909/ and read part 2 to this blog. posted @ 02:08 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 5 (+/-)] Tuesday, January 10, 2006"GAMERS" moving-on-up on IMDB by Christopher FolinoHello People of the blog, “Gamers” is on the rise at IMDB, our comedy MOVIEmeter is now ranked 2055. Overall, for all movies, “Gamers” is ranked 5081 on the MOVIEmeter, that’s a nice jump from last week when we were ranked 6,134. So for comedy movies we are ahead of Bill Murray’s “Mad Dog and Glory” which is ranked 2064 for Comedy and overall it’s ranked 5114. We are kicking butt over the classics like “Look Who’s Talking Now” (5136) “Green Card “(5147), “Summer School” (5166), “Doc Hollywood” (5189) “Stop or my Mom will shoot” (5085) and “Reds” (5098) So how does an ultra-low budget indie film that doesn’t have a distributor yet or even a festival get this low of a ranking on IMDB? We play Dungeons and Dragons every Wednesday with the folks at IMDB and we spring for the “Mountain Dew!” Those bastards drink three cases in one night! We’ve been doing some new online ads, I thought I’d share them with you. I would guess this type of advertising would stop once we got a distributor! However, it’s been kind of fun to run these. AD ONE Much funnier than the “Passion of the Christ” and “Brokeback Mountain” –www.gamers-themovie.com AD TWO Our movie was rejected by two theaters in Utah! Sundance and that other poser festival! - www.gamers-themovie.com AD THREE If you laughed one time during “Yours, Mine and Ours” then kick yourself in the nuts - www.gamers-themovie.com AD FOUR A movie Howard Stern might like if we added more naked chicks! But, we curse a lot! - www.gamers-themovie.com That’s all the time for this part of the blog, make sure you click here for part 2 of todays blog http:// imdb.com/title/tt0485909/ posted @ 10:09 AM PDT [link] [Karma: 4 (+/-)] Monday, January 9, 2006Short & Late Blog by Christopher FolinoHello Blog people, Changes are coming next week for the "Gamers" web site. We will revamp the entire look with the poster being the main focus point. If you haven't see the poster check it out at http://imdb.com/title/tt0485909/ Jeff Jumper from http://www.jumpersart.com/ is the man who created our poster and he did a great job. Our very own Kevin Sherwood came up with the concept! And we are thinking of selling the posters on the web site. We may have to bite the bullet with ordering a ton, however, if things go the way we hope, this will be the week of all weeks for "Gamers". What else to look for! New content will be added! We have a new interview with Kelly LeBrock, Roberto Blasini, and I think we will produce and edit some behind-the-scene footage and post new production photos. One area I want to change is the forum section, God I can't stand it. I think we found a new alternative, and I'm going to take like a man and people will be allowed to leave comments about each blog. That's right, I can't wait to read how much we suck on our own web site! Shooting is taking place later this week and on the weekend. God, I have to thank Brandy for accepting the part of "Reese's Cousin" at prom. This could be our "pie scene" moment in the movie. Two words, milk, lactating. And lastly go check out http://imdb.com/title/tt0485909/ and read part two of the blog and the story of who we originally wanted to cast for Gordon. We are happy Kevin Kirkpatrick ended up with the part, he's a handsome man who is also a great kisser...that's what Zealy told us! And Scott Allen, Hanson, and the lighting guy. posted @ 08:45 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 3 (+/-)] Sunday, January 8, 2006I watched some special on VH1 about celebrities and perks. Did you know that presenters at the Academy Awards were handed-out gift baskets worth $150,000 a piece? Does a wand of blow jobs come with that also? Serious, that’s worse than the baseball free agency market! And then the special covered Will Smith’s movie trailer and how it’s two stories tall with hardwood flooring, and a recording studio inside. It only costs 1.8 million dollars and he calls it “baby girl.” Perhaps Mr. Smith should stay at the Motel 6 and invest the 1.8 million dollars on a script that doesn’t “Suck!” I think Will make great movie trailers! He’s done some of the best two minutes of any actor in Hollywood! Last night around 4AM while I was feeding one of the twins and the music from their activity center kicks and it finally dawned on me where I heard the song before and it was from the movie “A Clockwork Orange.” So I’m looking down at my son who is smiling at the air vent again, and I’m visualizing my five month old dressed as Alex de Large drinking a glass of milk at the Korova milkbar and hanging-out with his three droogs, listening to this music and nodding their little heads and saying “It’s Viddy Well, little brother Viddy Well.” I took the batteries out of the activity center, I don’t want to have a “Flashback” in the middle of the night. Some “Gamers” news, I spoke with Michael Smith from www.intheq.com.au and it looks like they will be doing a two-part pod cast on “Gamers.” I fear, my “interview of stupidity” will now be heard in its entirety. I challenge any one who listens to this pod cast to take a drink whenever a curse word is spoken. I believe the podcast will be up Monday night or Tuesday morning at the latest. My brother Michael came over for his last visit before he starts his new “fancy adverting” job in Chicago. My dream for him isn’t to be happy. It’s simply, for me to make so much money off of “Gamers” that I will pay him 200K a year just to be my “Yes man.” I know it’s “one hell-of-an-expensive-yes-man”, some folks would use the money to help the sick or the homeless. That’s all nice, however, it’s become a “moral imperative.” So now that I can add links to my blog, or let me rephrase that, now that I learned how to add links to this blog, let’s check in with some of my favorite sites! The place where you can support “Gamers” and let us know where you live so when take the movie on the road we can crash with you! http://www.frappr.com/gamersthemoviefans Here’s a site that will break news about “Gamers” first! http://www.livejournal.com/community/gamersthemovie/ and Chuck’s web site, any grown man who is going to purchase William Shatner’s monthly DVD and report about the selections each month, has my full support! He also is holding http://www.grogtard.com Okay, so here is the link to the greatest Cinematographer in the world Roberto Blasini. http://www.wackypuppy.com/robertoblasini/reel.html And while on his web site click on the Full Spectrum Warrior: Ten Hammers trailer or the picture of the military guy and the explosion! And lastly, go check out www.imdb.com/title/tt0485909/ and read part 2 to this wonderful blog. I will have an early morning blog tomorrow. Have a good night. posted @ 09:17 PM PDT [link] [Karma: 2 (+/-)] |
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