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04/18/2006: "A Review/Guest Rant by Chuck the Grogtard"

You've seen me in the forums, now see me in the blog.
A Review/Guest Rant by Chuck The Grogtard

So how did I get this chance to do this guest blog entry/review? The
first step was to post a bunch links to the website. Then I bugged Chris
for about 5 months. A couple emails at first. Then a few phone calls at
3 AM. Finally, he shipped me a copy of the movie if I promised to write
a review before Harry Knowles could and adhere to the restraining order.

First, I'd like to address some comments made in other places around the
Net that Gamers portrays the much-too-often-used negative stereotype of
gamers. I'm a gamer. I've been a gamer longer than probably some of the
cast has been alive. And the first thing I realized about the Four
Horsemen + Reese, I knew each and everyone of them personally. Not only
that , I /was /each of them at least once in my life (Well, maybe not
Reese). The thing about stereotypes is that there's always someone out
there more than willing to fulfill them for the entertainment of others.

Now on to our Feature Presentation. I'm not going to go into the basic
plot and all that. Because if you're reading this you already should
know. If not browse around the site, I'll still be here. This is my kind
of humor. Witty, irreverent and over top. Take one part “Spinal Tap”
(and its brethren), one part “Arrested Development”, a dash of “Family
Guy” and season to taste with “Robot Chicken”. The movie is loaded with
great jokes and quotable one liners from beginning to end. (“Every time
you curse, God kills a pagan baby.” and of course Johnny's tirade on the
Orc babies.) There aren't just in jokes for gamers, there's plenty of
mainstream humor to keep even the non-geeks laughing. But if you don't
get those gamer jokes just ask a gamer. You probably already know one,
you just don't know it yet. Just look for the pale skin, over
caffeinated beverages and “toy soldiers” brandishing swords. That's
probably a gamer.

The cast was great. You could tell that these folks had real chemistry
on the set. I'm sure when the movie is released on DVD there's going to
be one hell of a blooper reel. There were some big name stars in the
movie but my Award For Best Actor In An Unreleased Film By Chris Folino
has got to go to Kevin Sherwood. His mannerisms, comedic timing and
musical skills rivaling those of Weird Al stole every scene. You were
great, way to go Kevin.

One reviewer has already called Chris Folino the next Kevin Smith. And
he can't be closer to the truth. Chris has even described himself as
dark haired and Rubenesque. How perfect is that? All he needs is a Jason
Mewes. Since I'm a skinny blond guy. Chis offered me the position
(without that nasty heroin addiction thing). All I have to do is sell my
house and give him the profits. In exchange, he'll graciously let me
live in his garage. I can have all the food I can eat out of the
dumpster. He'll let me bathe once a week if I provide my own soap and
water. And I think “Dress Like A Clown” Fridays is the California
equivalent to casual Friday.

So to all you big time film distributors out there, do you want to be
known as the guy who said “No” to the next Kevin Smith. I didn't think
so. And if that doesn't work. The Chipper knows where you live.

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