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04/16/2006: "Signs of the apocalypse by Christopher Folino"

Here now, are three signs that the apocalypse is amoung us.

Bruce Springsteen covering the song “Erie Canal”
The man, my personal hero, the dude who wrote “Badlands”, the one song I want playing as they bury me six feet under, is now covering a fucking kid’s song that I was taught in grade school? A song so God awful that I sing it still today to my childhood friends for the sole reason to cause their ears to bleed. “I’ve got a mule, her name is Sal, fifteen years on the Erie Canal!”
Seriously, this alone is the sign that the world will end very soon and not just “from Albany to Buffalo.”

Paris Hilton being considered to play Mother Teresa
Bollywood director T. Rajeevnath said he was impressed when he read a report sometime ago in which the hotel heiress said she refused to pose nude in Playboy magazine and decided then to shortlist her.
Do I even need to bother with a punch line? I’d like our Government to take back the permission we gave India to further develop nuclear arms, due to this one fucking guy. And to add injury to insult, this Bollywood dickweed has a budget of 12 million dollars to make this film.

Episcopal churches turn to U2 to pack pews
Using the bands music during church ceremony and passing out fliers to get more membership by promoting the fact the church uses U2 music, membership is increasing in large numbers.
Look, I’m a huge fan of U2, however, I don’t want to go to mass and hear the music mixed in between the sermon and communion.
Because, sadly you hear a song at a location and it marks you for life. Every time I hear a Bob Seger song it has no worth. Because, I think of it being used in car commercials and I think Bob fucking sold out.
Most pastors, priests and clergy are horrible speakers and their sermons way heavy on guilt. Why doesn’t the churches spend more time looking at their religion and seeing what they can do to create better leaders and to also bring the teachings to today’s reality?
Leave Bono’s music alone! Let “Pride” play on an IPod or a radio, while two teenagers are making out in a parked car.
I spent one-year solid listen to the "Joshua Tree" record every night before bed when I was a teenager and I would write stories, horrible poetry, and I was even able to trigger some creative ideas by listening to that incredible album.
Now, the church is going to fuck it up and U2 music will be thought of along the same lines as a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish, you only order that “shit sandwich” on Fridays during lent.

Okay, switching to some “Gamers” news.

Two maybe three months that’s what we are giving ourselves to see if we can get a fair distribution offer or if we can get the film into a major festival. If not self-distribution, we are going to start getting the movie ready for it. I’d rather we control the movies fate.
I’m hoping for at least another review next week and we should hear back from three distributors and maybe a film festival also.

So that’s the news for this blog on Easter Sunday. One of the most sacred events in religion when Jesus Christ rose from the dead and turned the apostle Peter into a Bunny Rabbit!
Sadly, Peter strayed from the teachings of Christ, and became a “corporate whore” selling chocolate bunnies and candies to children with the intent to create cavities, because, Saint Peter now works for the religion of Dentistry.

I got to go now, I have to leave a freshly skinned rabbit barely breathing, hanging off my daughter’s playground set for her to find in the morning. The five year-old girl had to made a crack about “Gamers” not getting distribution, however, “Shazam” is golden! Everyone loves a comedian!

Well daddy’s got a sense of humor also honey! I think this years Easter Egg Hunt will be a memorable one for you!

Happy Easter and remember American Idol sucks harder than Paris Hilton! And you can take that any way you want, because, it works.

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