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04/06/2006: "The Return of Dave Hanson"

Why? Why is Dave Hanson writing the Blogs again? We were just getting used to hearing how Chris mentally abuses his poor daughter and God knows who else under his roof and behind his closed front door. Why would we want to read Dave Hanson's writing? Yeah, he is amazing in the movie. And yes, women find him infectiouse (some more than others and there are antibiotics for that). And yes he is smooth like 20 year old scotch but that doesn't mean we want to hear about his life.
Well the truth is the state department and social services have been reading this blog (they're fans of the movie as it turns out...yeah, the whole department) and they've since arrested Chris Folino and taken his children into foster homes where they will never celibrate April Fool's Day again.
I guess I should take the time to plug my stuff. This friday I am guest starring on "The Ghost Whisperer" along with fellow gamer Scott Allen Rinker (who has a much bigger part than me and will be seen in the seasone finale as well). I will tell more about that in future blogs for there are funny stories to be told when one combines my general charm with a lovely leading lady like Jennifer Love Hanson...um, I mean Hewitt...oh screw it! She doesn't read this blog! Jennifer Love Hanson! Yes! That's right! We are married now. Love at Love's first sight. She fell for me like a ton of bricks dropped on the head of a distribution company executive after he gets off the phone with Chris Folino. We've been trying to keep it quite. Carson Daily and John Mayer are a little hung up still. And let's not forget my ladies who have learned, to their despair, that I am off the market.
So thats the big news. I'm on Ghost Whisperer and I'm now married to Jennifer Love Hanson.
In other big news my Orc Warrior Vinnerox has reached level 35 today in the World Of Warcraft or WOW as Jennybunns calls it. She finds my Deap Rend Ability, Criticle Strike Percentage and Beserker Battle Stance sexy. And I agree. Fact: It is sexy.
It's not easy having a film star beauty in love with you. For now we're living at her place. She is the bread winner for the time being but I plan on changing that soon. Even as we speak I am auctioning several "hard to find" potions at the Orgimmar Auction House not to mention most of my spoils from battle. Hey, I got a wife to look after these days. I can't just keep every pair of Chain Mail Pants with a +8 strength, +7 Stamina +9 Spirit that I find. Even if they are Epic Quality.
So yeah, thats what I got going on. It's late. And I have stuff to do still. So I will tell you funny stories tomorrow. Lets all take a moment to pray for Chris's poor daughter, who's probably locked in box with a bunch of other orphan kids in the back yard of some suburban couple obbsessed with keeping kids "In line" or even worse, she's probably been abducted by polygamists in utah and is working a garden hoe dressed like an extra from Little House On The Prairie. God be with her and hope she's married of to the leader of the compound and has a good life still. And lets get a distribution deal for Gamers so we can bail Folino out of state prison.

Cheers!