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03/28/2006: ""Tuesday Blog for my bloggies" by Christopher Folino"

I’m starting to get into deeper conversations with distributors and one mentioned “We will cut a trailer for your movie.”
There were like two words that kept popping in my mind when he said that, “Fuck” and “No”.
Combined they do work and can express exactly how you feel. Switched around you have “No Fuck!” which makes you sound like a caveman warding off sexual advances from another male caveman who isn’t a pretty boy like those two in “Brokeback Mountain”.
Why so worried about a distributor cutting a trailer for your movie? Have you seen some of the trailers out there? “Suck” and “Ass” are two words that keep popping into my mind.
FYI, I don’t curse nearly as much in my home with the three kids around, in fact I got in trouble recently for using the word “Butt” instead of “Bottom”
Yeah, that’s the term my five year old daughter uses and always corrects me when I use the word “Butt” Even when I’m watching “Bevis and Butthead” it’s now “Bevis and Bottomhead.” And when I watch “Girls Gone Wild Volumes 1 thru 10,000” every night with my children, I have to catch myself and correct what I was about to say, like “ Hey, look at how high Snoop Dog can bounce a quarter off that girls…bottom, nice quarter bouncing bottom.”
Oh, I have so many stories like that, for example, I came home last night and my daughter drew a picture with all the characters from the Nickelodeon line-up” I'm talking a detail drawing of SpongeBob, Danny Phantom, Josh and Drake, and all the rest of the shows!"
You could tell my daughter spent a lot of hours creating this drawing and her mom was so proud.
Almost tears of prider in my wife's eyes.
Well, I sat my daughter down and I gave her D- for originality and I told her “Honey, you want to impress daddy? Then take those tiny little hands and draw me a photo of “Gamers” and then write me a letter to give all the distributors out there and tell them how much five year olds around the world would love “Gamers!” and while your at it, go get daddy a beer in a bottle! That’s right, no more drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon in can, daddy is a director now, he deserves it in bottle!” And use your teeth to open that bottle up, because your baby teeth are going away and Daddy doesn’t have time to waste! Uncle Snoop Dog is almost ready to bounce a fifty cent piece off some junior college girls!”
After I’ve had about 12 Pabst, I chew off the blue ribbons from the labels with my teeth and pretend it's a film festival award.
I'm proud to say that “Gamers” has taken home the Blue Ribbon over 91 times in the last two days!
I got to go “Gamers” is getting another Blue Ribbon for best costume design at the BET Film Festivals!