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03/08/2006: ""Tall Tales" and my own "Personal Jesus" movie by Christopher Folino"

I don’t know how or why I started this “tall tale” or what others would call a "lie" but, every morning when my five year old daughter wakes up, I tell her how I caught both her twin brothers, who are only seven months old, sneaking out of the house always on a quest to get her cool shit.
Yesterday, the twins were trying to fill the min-van with Barbie’s they didn’t pay for at Toys R Us. I tried throwing in some “Full House” morality crap about "how stealing is wrong", but she would have none of that! She’s like serious? They snuck out again? Why did you stop them?” “Wait, they know how to drive?”
She’s getting smart, however, when it’s warmer I’m going to take both boys out at night and take photos of them attempting to steal the car and show them to her. Hell maybe I’ll shot some video and add some special effects where it appears the twins are driving away.
That would mess with her mind for the rest of her life.
And why not? If she’s going to believe in "Santa" and that "Bratz dolls aren't total whores", then why can’t she believe that her twin brothers know how to drive a car, attempt to “liberate” her gifts and worship her?
Would love to see that therapy bill when she gets older.

So what’s up with “Gamers?”
Nothing, he’s hanging out at a few bars in Tijuana preparing himself mentally for his deployment. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not an alcoholic, however, he is a fan of a good "Donkey show" and that's what attracts him south of the border. I will guarantee to anyone from the press who is getting a screener copy of the movie, that “Gamers” will be more than able to perform it’s duty.

I saw Ben Messmer the other night, the man who plays Johnny in the movie, I love that guy! He still plays Dungeons and Dragons and his agent is his Dungeon Master. How cool is that? Serious, I’m going to have to crash that game.
I wonder if Ben doesn’t show up for a game, does his agent get pissed and not send him out on any calls for that week?

And I guess I have nothing in common with the general public, I thought Jon Stewart did a great job hosting the Oscars. He’s no Martin Lawrence dressed in an eighty year old drag, however, who is?
Okay, maybe Tyler Perry, but come on! American just can’t get enough up of that awesome comedy! Can you blame us? Really?

I got to go, I rented “Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter" from Netflix and I must watch it now so I can compare notes with Jason Driver.
A half hour later, I think this could be the greatest movie ever made and I love the fact that this film got into M.U.F.F. which stands for Melbourne Underground Film Festival which I’m proud to say is interested in screening “Gamers” this year.

So for all you folks counting at home, you can see "Gamers" at a festival in either Israel or Australia.
It's nice the foreign market has faith in us before our own country!

Could you imagine the shirt we can create if “Gamers” screens at M.U.F.F. it would be so obvious and priceless at the same time.
Lastly, a shout out to super Chuck in Austin who frickin made a page about “Gamers” on his web site with some exclusive audio clip from the movie which features a scene with William Katt.
By the way Chuck, I saw an ad for William Shatner’s DVD of the month club on boxofficemojo.com and you were right to try to stop that cancer from spreading to the masses.

And lastly the coolest video I've seen in a long time, a real life re-enactment of the intro to the Simpsons TV show. Click here.