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02/16/2006: ""Dick and Breast jokes" by Christopher Folino"

Man shot by Cheney to remain hospitalized for about a week after suffering a mild heart attack when a shotgun pellet in his chest traveled to his heart.
Dick Cheney made light of the situation by opening up his shirt and showing the war wounds from all his heart surgeries. The former CEO of Halliburton got carried away for the press as he punched his hand into the area where his heart should be located. However, to the amazement of everyone, Mr. Cheney instead pulled out a working “Easy-Bake-Oven” and began making decorative cookies for everyone. The Vice President gloated, “Hearts are for pussies! I ate mine a long, long time ago!”


Cheney: Shooting Victim is not to Blame –Vice President Dick Cheney rejects any notion that his victim bears any responsibility for the shooting accident; instead he blames the entire incident on “Terrorist Quails”.
“These were a bunch of sleeper cell Quails from al-Qaida! That’s right “al-Qaida Quails” and I caught them flying over my car and attempting to defecate on the Little America Flags which are attached to my front hood! The hell if I’ll let any terrorist bird go number “two” on “Old Glory!”
“However, when I took aim my friend, Harry Whittington, dove to protect the flag the same time I opened fire. It was a beautiful and tragic moment in our countries history. Kind of like

Pamela Anderson boycotting Kentucky Derby –Miss Anderson first boycotted Kentucky Fried Chicken months ago and now she’s against the Derby. KFC struck back and announced plans to for a new meal inspired by Anderson that they call “Skanky Chickfila” –It contains two 15 year-old breast patties injected with hepatitis C that have seen much better days.

In the world of “Gamers” the movie is hours away from a final cut and the next step will be audio tweaking.
I couldn’t be happier with the new cut and the scenes that have been added. This little bad boy will have a nice shot and we can’t wait to see if with an audience.