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02/07/2006: "RANK by Christopher Folino"

Thanks to Scott Allen Rinker for his guest blog on Monday! Scott is ranked number one on my books! However, the folks at IMDB rank him much differently at 44,019 on the STARMeter.
How good or bad is that ranking? I’ll take two people, one who is an amazing talent deserving of a high rating and the other who is a total hack. Let’s compare!
Pauly Shore ranked 463 and Christopher Folino is 102, 236.
To be fair Pauly Shore won the Audience Choice Award for best Feature Film at Slamdunk Film Festival in 2003.
So, what’s it like to get into the IMDB under 50K club Mr. Rinker?
Do you get your movies into film festivals and are you showered with double coupons from the Pink Dot?

Yes, it’s that time again where we review how “Gamers” and it’s cast are doing according to the world of IMDB.

“Gamers” got kicked in the nuts again for a fourth straight week, causing it to rise to 6,351 on the MOVIEmeter!

Yet, the movie 2001: A Space Travesty made in 2000 with Leslie Nielsen is ranked 2,513 on the MOVIEmeter. It even had a budget of 26 million dollars, which leads to me ask, why? I don’t think I’ve ever seen this movie even on cable!

And “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” from 1987 is holding strong at 4525 according to IMDB, the all-knowing lords of cinema and cinematic taste!

So “Gamers” is now sandwiched between the classic Jaclyn Smith TV movie from 1998 “Before he Wakes” and the 2001 cult classic featuring Orlando Jones and Eddie Griffin “Double Take”

Still, the Gods of IMDB still felt we were better ranked than the 84 million smash hit “Pokemon: The First Movie” coming in at 6351 and “The Muse” with Albert Brooks which was ranked at 6364!

That’s right Pikachu and Brooks! You’re our bitches this week! So what if combined you have both earned over 500 million dollars at the Box Office! However, the closest “Gamers” has gotten to a box office is a rejection letter by the Home Box Office film festival! Doesn’t matter! We still own you both on IMDB this week! I’d fucking quit showbiz if I were you Al or Pikachu!

So how is “Gamers” the movie doing? Just fine, he kind of ballooned up with all the rejections from the film festivals. However, we have him on an Elliptical to shed those unwanted frames and we are trimming him down with to showcase him very soon.