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02/06/2006: "More Spontaneous Blogging by Scott Rinker"

I just rented, "Serenity", one of the coolest, freshest sci-fi movies to be produced in the last 20 years. What a great freakin movie! However, I’m left with one nagging question.

What the hell is wrong with the audiences in America! Crappy retread comedies like Big Momma’s House 2 make 45 million at the boxoffice and Serenity barely makes 20 mil?

I keep hoping for the American people to prove me right. That they’ll someday show these Hollywood hotshits that if you produce smart, original movies – the audiences will come. And that people are tired of the same crappy, cookie cutter formualaic films with “stars,” and I use that term loosely, who keep walking through the same feakin roles time and time again.

But no, turns out I’m wrong and Hollwood is right, the audiences of today are EXACTLY as stupid as the boneheads think they are. Doesn’t matter what the studios produce, if they put a pretty ad campaign on it and sell it with some damn cheeseburger tie-in, everyone will go.

Now I know what you’re thinking, if I felt so strongly about “Serenity” why didn’t I go see it in the theatre? One reason pally, I can’t stand being in a room with tons of morons who apparently can’t be separated from their mobile devices (phones, palm pilots, psp’s, what have you) and can’t stop FUCKING talking to each other over the film!

I’d rather wait for the DVD, watch it on my plasma screen tv, and actually HEAR the fucking movie for a change! Plus I get to watch all the special features AFTERWORD, without having the behind the scenes stuff on HBO giving away the whole plot before I’ve seen the film.

Mind you, I do miss seeing films on the big screen. I used to love nothing more as a kid than going to a theatre, getting a box of popcorn as big as my whole freakin body, nibbling on some Twizzlers and chugging a Coke while watching the TWO previews for upcoming films. And when the lights when down and the opening credits started to roll, the hush of the audience was incredible. Why? ‘Cause people were actually there to WATCH the movie! And everyone respected the desires of their fellow human beings to watch the film without chitchat as well.

Do I sound like an old timer? Ready for the nursing home? Perhaps I am.

In fact, I’m gonna go right now to my living room, sip my glass of Metamucil, pull up my Depends diaper, put my dentures in a glass of cleaner, and rewatch “Serenity” right now.

And if you’re interested, here’s my top five Sci-fi flicks to check out…

1. STAR WARS, and also THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK - (try to forget that Lucas ruined everything that these films stood for when he decided to direct the prequels. I know technically it’s two movies but they’re really part of one story, so sue me.)
2. BLADE RUNNER – (I’m pretty much alone on this one in that I actually LIKE the original theatrical version better. It’s a detective noir, so you gotta HAVE the voice-over narration)
3. SERENITY – (I know it just came out, but it’s that damn good!)
4. STARGATE – (who thought mixing Egyptian mythology, science fiction and James Spader would be this good? Plus it launched a great tv series)
5. GALAXY QUEST – (I know it’s a comedy spoof, but it’s still better than the StarTrek series it’s spoofing. Of course, I hear they’re planning to ruin it by making a sequel. Does nobody learn from George Lucas’ mistakes?)

Man, when I sober up I’m gonna really regret writing this blog, aren’t I?