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12/19/2005: "Monday Night Blog by Christopher Folino"

Welcome to the “Monday Night blog” it’s been a rather interesting two days since I last graced these pages with such indie filmmaking insight like “how we won enough money gambling on football to pay for all our film entry fees.”

That’s right, welcome to the world of ultra low filmmaking and I have to again thank the entire New England Patriots football team for wining the ”Gamers festival entry” bowl this year. Screw the “Super Bowl” boys! You’ve done enough this season, so go rest my friends, and rest well.

Last night, I did a telephone interview with Michael and Barry from www.intheq.com.au who do a pod cast show for indie filmmakers, mostly famous ones who are respected!
And somehow I got on!
How did it go you ask? Well, all I can say is that I have “potty” mouth. And if you’re looking for intelligent and inspiring indie filmmaking conversation, then I have failed miserably.

Not since the time I was eighteen and giving the “best man” speech at my brother Michael’s wedding have I failed so badly. At Michael’s wedding, I turned to his lovely bride and actually told her “Vivian, I hope you find as many uses for him, than I have!”

My entire interview was that brilliant and insightful! Oh, the choke!

I seriously spent ten minutes talking about the “Wiggles,” I figured everyone from Australia must work for them. And I swear to God, I brought up the “Star Wars Holiday Special”, and then made way too many “Brokeback Mountain” jokes. And then I brought up the Rosie O’Donnell Documentary and man, I had no idea she was that loved in Australia. My little “Rosie” joke went over as well as “New Coke” in American or better when Vanilla Ice tried saying on MTV “No, no, my song is different than Bowie and Queen’s “Under Pressure”, and then he proceeded to sing the same exact notes.

If I could do a Quantum Leap and go back in time, I’d get a hammer and smash my phone and then hit myself in the “nuts” with a baseball bat.

Beverly D’Angelo and William Katt are going to be interviewed tonight, so I pray they redeem me! Come “Greatest American Hero” and “Vacation Mom!” save my sad pathetic directors ass. Be “excellent” and show the people why you’re rated 741 on the IMDB STARmeter Miss Beverly D’Angelo! And you Mr. William “ranked 3,801” Katt, go do me justice!

I’m sorry, I’m ranked 91,152 on the STARmeter, and I choked! Hell! That’s not a ranking! I’m going to go look up John Holmes and see where that dead porn star guy is ranked on IMDB!
(1 minute later)
Shit, the dead porn star is ranked 2,755! My God, is that because they’re counting “little Holmes” too?
More to come tomorrow morning thank you for reading the blog.