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12/08/2005: "The curse of my boss and Jon Voight by Chris Folino"

Hello and thank you for reading the blog.

If you read the blog while your at work, then good for you! "Way to stick it too the man!"

If you read the blog from home, alone in the dark and naked with just a bowl of jello in your lap, then "Hello! and when you’re done reading this blog! you can go stick it too the jello!"

Okay, so how much does God hate me?
Yes, that's the question of the day for you! For me it's a life long affirmation!

I have a day job and it was really ironic and humorous to find out yesterday that one of the films we lost out to at Slamdance this year is called “LIEBESKIND" - written/directed by Jeanette Wagner about a five years a father and daughter reunite, only to find that their new-found relationship is less than perfect."

I swear to God that's my bosses name and it translates to "Love Child"
This isn't good for me at work. My boss will use it against me in every meeting now. "Hey Folino, tell everyone how you didn't get into the festival, because, of my last name!" It will become the “Pull my finger” bit!
I would have rather been punched in the nuts by Gary Coleman and his agent.

Do you know what Folino translates too in Italian? I'm not even joking, it's like "Son of Christopher" So, my name is basically Christopher son of Christopher. Funny, my dad's name is Robert. Yes, I can't wait to go to Italy and get mocked!


Here’s an observations I made last night while watching TV.

Jon Voight did an amazing job as Pope John Paul II in the mini-series last night. Serious, he even got the exact way the Pope use to drool down perfect! Is that a mean observation? I swear in the scene I watched, Jon was able to cry a single tear that came out of his left eye and then was able to drool at the exact same time! That's fucking acting! Try it! I can’t do it! I drool from my nose!

Personally, I'm shocked Jon hasn't gone in the business of selling sperm. His daughter is Angelina Jolie! "Hello friend, my name is Jon Voight and my sperm is an awesome sperm!"
Who can trump this man? Especially, when it comes to sperm? Nobody! Did you see what happens when Billy Joel mated with Christie Brinkley? Did the super model gene win out in that holy union? Ah, no it did not!

Now Jon Voight! that mother fucker can name any price for sperm! I bet he makes more money selling sperm than acting! You know he was on the set of the Pope John Paul II Mini-series, and was about to do a scene, when his cell phone rang. He must have stopped production without any hassles!
"Hey guys, let's hold-off on shooting the Pope mobile scene where I shake a lot and wave well, kind of shaky. I got an order in to make a “little Angelina” for Billy Joel and his new twenty-four year old wife! They don't want a girl with a just a “wonder personality” He’s got enough of those! No, Billy wants a “baby babe!”
That's right, I'm Jon Voight and my sperm is an awesome sperm! I guarantee a
“Baby babe” with each sample!"
So what if your daughter will grow up with strange habits? Like wanting to make-out with her brother? That just means she'll stay really close to home.

I'd love to get the rights to the “Wonder Twins” movie and then have Angelina Jolie and her brother play the parts of the Wonder Twins. I would just add really creepy sexual “twin tension” moments in the entire movie. Like having Angelina sleep in a “Water Bed” and that water of course is the form of her twin brother! Oh, if any one knows the “Wonder Twins” than they would appreciate that sickness! Otherwise, I come off very bad!

My version of the “Wonder Twins” movie would play awesome at Sundance! Oh, he didn't go there? He's been so good, not making fun of Sundance and the fine selection of films this year! Yes every studio movie with a budget well over four million dollars and a distribution deal needs help!


Okay, I got to go onto IMDB and click on Gamers 2006 and see if I can get our movie ranking hire!
And of course, finish my bowl of jello!
Oh that's not jello! It's a little bit of “Jon Voight holiday magic!”

Yes, let the negative karma ratings begin!
Bring it on all you red states!